"Bring It"

"Bring it", she said. X met me at the door to her condo this evening in a rage. She seethed something about my apartment being unsafe, and "God knows what goes on there". She kept the children from me. I calmly asked her to reconsider and she refused. Then she said it: "Bring it". Unheralded, out of context, and with complete hatred, like we were in a cage fight or something.

So, I assured her she'd be hearing from my lawyer. She claimed I didn't have one, and that's when I stumbled a bit and sunk to her level. I told her my lawyer's name and what he knows about her. I shouldn't have done that.

I turned around, came home, and here I am. I do not want revenge, I do not want to fight. I just want my kids. My beautiful, beautiful kids. I miss them so much I ache. I thought the divorce would end X's abuse, but it has only escalated it because she uses the kids as weapons. It is sickening. It is hateful.

How odd that, back when I was working, everything was fine and dandy, even when I was in the hospital she brought the kids to see me, but, now that the checks aren't coming, suddenly I'm unsafe. I guess people let us know who they are by their actions, we just have to observe. Oh, yeah, she yipped something about my life insurance, too. I told here that, being unemployed, I was concentrating on feeding and housing myself right now. That didn't stop her from having her lawyer send me a note complaining about me not having life insurance. Really makes you think, doesn't it? Arrest me. I have no contempt for the court or the divorce decree, but plenty for that hag-parasite, the no-good bottom-feeder.

I'm not sure what to do next. I've got to breathe. I better phone my attorney and leave a message now, just so he has this on record. I am alone, broken-hearted, and lost. I am so afraid. Will write more later.

X-treme Behavior

Pic of me, shocked that X is up to her old tricks (by shocked, I mean not at all shocked).

Latest update on X's dysfunctional behavior: This is my weekend with the girls, and X has managed to convince 97 that she doesn't want to stay over with me tonight (but tomorrow night is fine, somehow). X said: "Do you realize that all of 97's friends think you're ill? It's the way you LOOK". She is, of course, referring to my choice to shave my head. I have been told by many others who know me that I've never looked more healthy. I honestly think X is manipulating the kids, trying to alienate them from me. If anyone has any advise on how to handle this, that would be great. Right now I'm just planning to gently ascertain whether 97 really said these things.

Even though we're divorced, X continues to find ways to abuse.

Oh, she also left me two voicemails yesterday, which I returned this morning. She flew off the handle because it took me 12 hours to respond. She says she's concerned that "what would happen if the kids were in the hospital and you didn't answer?!" That would never happen. I always listen to my messages, I just don't respond to them all immediately. Is that bad? Didn't think so.

Rainbow Connection

Check out the rainbow I followed all the way to Green Bay last month.

Still not moved out of the old place completely, but getting ever closer. Nice to be in downtown, steps away from everything. The girls absolutely love Moonbeam, and love the apartment too.

X is still a pain. Her latest is: "I don't think the kids should stay with you overnight because they don't have beds." Like hell they don't. I've gotten them full sized inflatable matresses and new bed linens that they chose. I guess that's not conventional enough for X, though. Tough.

By the way, I sleep on an air mattress too, and I highly highly recommend it. No more tossing and turning, no back pain. The only problem is getting out of bed!

Alas, I am still unemployed. One and a half months seems forever, and money is very low. But I've never been happier. This time off is very good for me. And very scary.

I've spent more time with Mom and Sis and the boys over the last two months than in many years. That alone is worth the price of unemployment.

I've paid off the car! My hoopty is really MINE!!

Gotta go for now. Keep praying for me, it really helps.

No Astronaut, No Beaver, No Lincoln

You have to have seen the Rozarem commercial on the telly to get the title.

Neither Lunesta nor Rozarem work worth a plug nickle for me. How freaking sweet. They worked for two or three nights then worked no more. No eerie flourescent green butterfly thingy, no chess with random characters from my life. Thanks alot, "modern medicine"!!

Speaking of plug nickle, last Thursday the kids and I were at Rib Mountain by the Queen's Chair and there was a sign there about "Ancient Ripples". I read it aloud as "Ancient Nipples", which drew laughter from those climbing the Chair, and rebuke from my progeny. Of course we all laughed when I suggested "Ancient Nipples" as a Jeopardy answer, the question to which would be "What is under my grandma's polyester blouse?". Remember, I am child-like, not childish...

Teken: Vahgeen Azzle

So, I just spent the last three days and nights in Green Bay with Mom in intensive care. She was nearly dead. But some long hours, and a game or five of "inflated non-latex glove volleyball" later, she's getting better. Whew.

Anyway, so I get back to Wausau and go visit my kids, whom I missed and hugged furiously. Played together from about 6pm to about 9 or so. Later, I get a call from X asking where I am. "Home", I say, 'cause that's where I was. See, it seems that she didn't get home until around ten last night, so the kids were alone for about an hour. At 9 and 12 years old, they're home most days alone while X is at work.

But noooooooooo, after their hour alone I get a call from what sounds like a drunk, angry hornet. When I tried to reason with her and find out why she was swearing at me, I got a very concise answer: "Bucuzzz yer a Vahgeen Azzle!". Despite the slur and the abruptly ensuing hang-up, I got the translation.

Well there you have it. I bend over backwards to make our divorce as friendly and comfortable for the kids and her as possible. In fact, I'm going bankrupt doing it. She's living in a huge condo with cathedral ceilings and art prints while I'm -- well, not. But I'm a vahgeen azzle.

Super.

River in Egypt

Da Nile (denial) ain't just a river in Egypt, I hear.

I've been so busy deep in my own shizzit I haven't updated for months. I've had several of my readers wondering why.

Well, the X developed a brain tumor and is still recovering. This put the kibash on her marriage, which means no extra income for moi, even though my monthly expenses have increased since my move to Wausau. I'm not dealing. No, not much at all.

Credit card is getting higher. Living pretty much hand to mouth on borrowed time -- and money.

Really pissed about how I'm being treated at work, so I'm seeking Wausau alternatives. That would be huge because I could then tap into my 401K to pay off the card. Plus I'd be working closer to home.

Good news? Plenty of it. Girls are great and healthy. I've spent a week at the new medical complex I helped (in an information systems way) bring together, and have made really positive contributions. Spending the day there tomorrow, too. Awesome stuff!

Am bowling on a league (don't laugh it's really fun), and am improving week to week. I think I may prefer bowling to golf. It's also cheaper.

Can't promise the frequency of future updates, because that seems to lead to long lapses.

I love you all, and hope you'll keep reading and posting.

-Teken

No Marriage = Me Bankrupt

Apparently the marriage of my X has been delayed. Have you ever felt plastic melt in your hands? I am in debt up to my nether regions. Was counting on the extra money (read spousal support) when I moved. Everything I buy, everything I owe, is now going on my credit card. My life is plastic. And it's melting... MELLLLLLLTIIIIIIING!!!

This is Teken on the brink. Life's way too short to worry alot about something as ridiculous as money, but I'm starting to sweat a bit.

X is doing well. The brain growth is shrinking now after the gamma knife. Thank God for the gamma knife. However, she's not getting married on August 5. I understand, but I am very worried. I moved to be closer to the girls and give them a place to live with me that was actually, well, livable. It costs me $275 more a month. It also means going from a walking commute, to a 40 minute car commute which costs me about $240 a month in gas.

I am fully moved, though.

Things at work have gotten interesting. Crack down on wireless internet usage. Crack down on how we log our hours. When I started at MC, my boss said, and I quote, "when I log my hours, I just basically guess. You can do the same.". Well, that's changed.

Kids are great. Today we went to "Sky High". Good movie. Very reminiscent of Harry Potter, but funny. I'd recommend it.

Later!

Teken Under Siege

Psycho Xs suck. When X dropped off the kids tonight she claimed she "needed to talk to me this weekend". Fuck. That was never good when we were married, and it's not good now. Thinking she had some bone to pick with me, I offered to walk her to her car. Turns out her new beau blew her off for dinner tonight.

For the love of God.

She just found out she has a brain tumor (benign and treatable without carving her skull). And this guy is choosing to bail tonight... FUCK!

She asked my opinion, and I kept it mellow. For every response I was greeted with some rant punctuated with the obligatory "F" explative. In my quiet neighborhood. Shouted at the top of X's lungs. Hi! Nice to meet you, neighbor!

True, he's being a jerk. True, I'd just as soon deck him as look at him after this stunt. Also true though that he might just need a little break from the cling. I just wish he'd exhibit better judgement when establishing boundries. Bad on you, dude.

NEwhoo, it's her problem. And his. (shit, and mine too if they don't marry)

Just glad the X's tumor is getting the gamma knife instead of surgery. Just wish she'd chill and realize that people need to feel a certain amount of freedom, and expect a certain amount of respect. Just wish new beaus could either stick their heads far enough up their ass to see through an open mouth, or just plain see the pain they cause their partner.

Okay, that last sentence is completely stupid, but you get the idea.

Seems so insignificant given what's going on in London and Cuba.

The Force

Divorce really sucks. What came before it was worse. Therefore I am fortunate. So are my children.

Catch Up

Today I had quality 94/Dad time. Went to the mall and got 94's picture taken for stickers. Really cute patriotic theme. God, she is so precious. Then we came back to the X place and I watched the second half of the Packers/Giants game. How shameful! 94 and I played airplane games, she did her hair several times, and I watched Junior win at Darlington.

97 went to a horse back riding birthday party for her friend Brianna. She had a great time. X actually went to the Packer game at Lambeau and got back around 6'ish. Right around the time that 97 got home from her party.

They're little things, but, X did two things this evening that brought home some of the reasons I left her:

1) I had told 94 to come and eat her supper. X then stormed in and told her to put her CD player away. I told X that I had just told her to come and eat. X's response to me, glaringly, was "don't contradict me, Mark." Matt and I both chimed in, saying actually she had contradicted me. Typical pre-divorce behavior.

2) X asked me what I was thinking, applying for NH admin jobs again because, in her words, "you can't do it". Nice. Her lack of faith in me has always been so demoralizing. It's oddly reassuring to get these kind of reminders from time to time.

As far as catch-up, I suppose I could go on for pages, but for now I'll just mention a few things.The girls and I went to Packers Family Night this year, and it was a blast. Also Packer releated, my sister and I went to a preseason game together. We went to Curly's first. I had a bloody mary, two yard long beers. We ordered a sampler appitizer along with our entrees. No kidding, the sampler platter was a yard wide. HUGE! Needless to say we had leftovers we never intended to eat.

Scary: Mom went through a scary bout with her pancreas, but is actually above 100 pounds now, so all looks better. I went to Sturgeon Bay with sis twice this summer to watch my cousin in law Troy race in the stock class. Ate at Culver's first both times. Lots of fun.

Very scary: 97 had some sort of stomach flu this summer and landed in the hospital over night. Frightful the thoughts that cross your mind when that happens. Luckily I saw she got the right care at the right time, and she is way fine now. Emphasis on how scary that was.

Had a spate of fitness this spring that lasted 3 months. Alas, again unable/unwilling to persist. Grrrrr...

The girls and I discovered the joy of feeding the ducks at Wildwood park. We brought birdseed (wild) in ziplock baggies and got mobbed by winged enthusiasts. How fun!

This summer Colby Cheese Days was awesome, Dairyfest was okay, and we got to see Jurustic Park for the first time last weekend.