Remembering Murph on Veteran's Day

Well, it's Veteran's Day. My Dad is on the far top right in Korea. He didn't want me to post this picture, so of course it took me forever (hmmm, wonder where I got my stubborn streak?). Actually, Dad never talked about his service, a reluctance I hear is shared by so many Veterans. That's too bad, because I would have liked to hear more. Suffice it to say I'm proud of you, Dad, no matter how you remember that time of your life.

We owe our freedom, even to dissent, to people like Murphy, my Dad. We're not a perfect country, but I believe that we're the closest thing God's given the world. I feel lucky to live here. Perhaps if you don't, you shouldn't, hmm?

So, my heartfelt thank you to all those who read this and have served. And especially to those who have served and cannot read this. Rest now, knowing you made a worthy sacrifice and you are loved and missed.

Moonbeam

I am Moonbeam. I am black, small, and cute. I purr. My ears double as wings. Love me. NOW!

Feeeeearsssths!!!

Ha HAH! Thee Macho Poodle!

He can beee

In many places

ALL AT THEEE SAME TIME!!

Here's Teken's Icon

Yes and here is Teken's basic icon. When you see this very macho poodle, you know fun and wacky hijinks are just around the corner! He's just "Teken care of business!".


Okay, that was way over the top and I am sorry, but the kids and I did brainstorm this icon of MP. Subject to evolution of course, but a good start, don't you think?

Family Nuggets

1. My Uncle D.S. had a lover who left him a ton of money. He divorced my aunt (Mom's side) and left her with almost nothing.

2. My Uncle K.F. (Mom's side) was a grifter who died in his sleep from insulin and sleeping pills. He, his wife, and kids (gorgious, I just met them a couple of years ago) had to leave Colorado after just opening all of their Christmas gifts one year.

3. My Aunt C.B.'s husband's Mom shot her pregnant daughter and herself to death in the house across from our cottage (back in the 1950s I think).

4. I still have the most unbelievable crushes on my two cousins D.B. and J.B.. Shame shame shame!

Things I Learned in Green Bay

1. You can taste insincerity in a hospital, which is why hospital food sometimes tastes really bad
1. Bring extra underwear because you'll probably stay longer than you planned
2. Don't sniff your underwear on the third wearing -- trust me, it stinks
2. Eat something before you get there because although the meal you get when you arrive will be delicious, you will wait
2. Rock Star 16-ouncers don't count as food
2. My name is Bendillonmark
6. My nephews are named after me
3. Massively Multi-player Role-playing Games are really pretty cool
4. You can go to bed when the sun rises, too
Z. You can survive an almost unlimited number of falls off of a conversational change of subject cliff as long as you pay attention
5. TV wrestling is a vahgeen HOOOOT!!
8. 2 year olds have special laser eye beams that bore holes in your heart and fill them with love
6. Guacamole turns baby poop brown if left out for a couple of hours
7. Baby poop brown guacamole tastes good
5. Zen loves to ride in the back of a gray Mustang convertible going down the freeway at 90 miles an hour on a 100 degree afternoon
0. If you find yourself reclining with Zen in the aforementioned convertible, don't wear a hat or sunglasses, and don't open your mouth or you'll lose a filling
8. Earwigs are nasty
Q. You will always pack things you don't need, even if you don't pack
1. You will always forget to pack that thing you need, even if you hire a vacation planner
4. Neither "Q." nor "1." above have any bearing on the quality of your experience, so chill
7. The "shaving cream in the hand, tickle the nose" trick really does work quite well
04. Newer Bun coffee makers only start brewing after you close the water lid thingy
9. Being randomly weird with your sister and nephews is startlingly cathartic
?. If you back up down a street, people will point at you
3. Ridiculing people who just pointed at you is fun, but only if you're with people
10. Wisdom plays a wicked game of hide-and-seek, but you can end up rolling on the floor laughing if you play along

Family Rocks

Y'all should know that one's own family really rocks. Yup, there's no better way to regain the sense of what you're all about than to spend a few days with your blood.

Just take Baird to Hastings (just before the viaduct) and your head will swing back on straight.

Thank you, big Sis, for putting up with me. Ben and Dillon, I wish you both a lifetime of unharsh. Baby Abby -- don't get P.O.'d!

Not about my life! Sort of...

Okay, a break from my autobiography.

It was Emma's first communion yesterday. I use the following word sparingly: She was precious. Hats off to X for dolling her up so well. And big Kudos to Emma for being so earnest and excited!

It was magical seeing her up their with the priest and all the other communicants.

Unfortunately, I was asked to bow-out of the after party, so I went straight home. But the time with the girls was awesome.

It was nice seeing Brian, Steve, and their wives again.

My Life, Part 3

I'm not gonna get too deep into the divorce thing, but I'll detail the marriage.

X and I were married in 1989. We had a great courtship. She converted me to Catholicism, which I still practice today, so for that I'm in her debt. I had tried all sorts of Christian religions, but this one seemed true.

We lived in a Wisconsin Rapids apartment for a while until she got called away to be a K-Mart manager in Burlington. I was still in college, beginning my year-long internship (no pay, so I had to work a full-time job) in Oshkosh. That year was hell; a foaming, seething, inferno of pain. I would visit our apartment in Burlington on weekends.

After that year was over, I got a nursing home adminitrator job in Port Washington, so I spent a year commuting through Milwaukee traffic until we moved to Port Washington. Ironically, she then got a job in south Milwaukee, so she did the commuting.

We had a vacation to California to see her parents, and, before I left, I responded to an offer of employment in Mineral Point, Wisconsin. When we got back, I was refreshed, and there was a message on the machine that the Mineral Point nursing home people wanted to talk to me.

Got the job and moved to Dodgeville, Wisconsin. The job was good. I got really involved in the community and helped found the "Point Forward" committee, which I chaired. This group got Mineral Point into the Main Street program as the first small community in the nation. I was also the president of the local Kiwanis Club. X and I had 94 at Dodgeville Hospital in 1994.

Later, my Dad phoned and wondered if I wanted his job at Peabody Manor in Appleton, Wisconsin. Hell yeah! Got the job and moved back to Appleton. Our apartment in Dodgeville burned down a month after we left.

To be continuted...

My Life Continued

Forgot to tell you that as a kid I was allergic to everything. Seriously: sunlight, mown grass, pets, chocolate, seafood. SEAFOOD! Convulsions, puking, the whole nine yards. I got shots twice a week to cure me. They worked! Oh, you know that test where they put a grid on your back and poke you with a needle containing allergens? Not when I was a kid. Instead of needles, I was cut for each allergen. I looked like a whipped slave when it was over.
Felt like one, too.

Anyway, after my shoplifting stage, I joined a local Drum and Bugle Corps. The Americanos. VIVA!! Spent money to tour the country sleeping on gym floors and marching in woolen uniforms in the hot, humid Wisconsin summers. Did it for four years. It was awesome!

Junior and senior high school were hell for me. Made most of my friends and girl friends in Drum Corps, so I caught alot of hell from peers in school for not belonging to any cliques.

I was asked to perform with two local symphony orchestras, though, and that led to an invitation to attend Lawrence University (in Appleton). Their conservatory is pretty renowned. I am a percussionist, and spent two years at Lawrence. It got way too political for me, though, so I quit. Sorry Mom and Dad, but I love music deeply in a personal way, so I couldn't do it just for the money. Who gives a crap what Bach and Beethoven did, and to hell with you if you think I'm going to do it that way.

So I went to a local two-year college and then to the University of Wisconsin, Eau Claire to earn my bachellor's degree in Health Care Administration. In total it took me 7 years to earn a bachellor's degree. Gulp.

I spent 13 years running nursing homes and got burnt out. OMG. Not a job you want, even at 70K plus a year.

I took a 50% pay cut to pursue my current career as a computer geek. The pay got better, but not by much. It ain't about the money -- trust me on this one.

I'll get into the whole marriage/divorce thing later.

My Life

Right. A weighty title for this entry, but I'll give you a sketch.

I was born a poor black child.

Alright, not really. I was born in Appleton, Wisconsin very premature. I'm told my grandfather Erwin took one look at me and exclaimed I wouldn't make it. He always used to give me dollar bills as I grew up, much to my parent's disdain. "He needs to learn the value of a dollar" said my dad.

I apparently had a penchant for trouble as a toddler. I remember standing in the window of our Wisconsin Court house yelling at our cross-street neighbor (an elderly man) "is anybody home Mr. Watson says says says...". He must have dreaded going to work each day, waiting for the inevitable wailing.

Though I don't remember, I guess I tried crawling up my dresser and tipped the whole thing over onto myself. I also allegedly loved to crawl under my crib and hook my feet into the springs, thus suspending myself.

Many a toddler day was spent with me in our Carroll Street home in my Doctor Denton PJs, sitting cross-legged in front of a heating vent. There are pictures, but I don't have them right now.

I was a latch-key kid, and, with my older sister Michelle, we spent many evenings alone. Dad with his nursing home, Mom working at the hospital as an LPN.

My elementary school friend and I thought it funny to let the air out of the tires of a car parked near the school. Now, we used thumb tacks to hold the air valves open. No harm ever came to the tires. Turns out the car belonged to the cheif of police in Appleton. Crap. It's the only time my Dad ever hit me in the face (open handed and he felt terrible). What was I thinking?

I found shoplifting as a hobby, and got caught twice: Once at Prange's and once at the local Park 'n Market. Ooops.

Growing older, I spent alot of time with my female cousins in Door County, at our "cabin". We had a coupla acres of land, and my cousins and I used to spend hours playing "Star Trek". I would alternately rescue the girls from intrepid alien threats. Made phasers out of makeup compacts, and communicators too.

I befriended two Door County boys along the way. We got into trouble. They kept a Jeep in an storage shed, and one day we decided to check it out. There was a gallon of fuel in a jug in the front seat. Of course the shed was totally dark, so we used a lighter to check out the contents of the jug. WHOOOOOOSH!! Apparently fuel is not very appreciative of an open flame.

Me and my Door County friends got into other trouble, smashing headlights on old derilect tractors and the like.

Here's the weird part: These same two boys vandelized our house in Door County, breaking anything breakable, and flooding the house by putting rocks in the sinks and starting the faucets. Still don't know what they were thinking.

Enough for now.

My Dad

Listening to Enya, thought I'd blog about my Dad.

He was a strong, stubborn man. He loved to have fun with everything in life. I think that's where I got it.

He died in December, 2001. Lung cancer, CHF, who knows. He lived his life in defiance of norms. Had his own motorcycle club back in the 1970's. Big Mabel Murphy Motorcycle Club. We used to party with the Devil's Advocates. Pig roasts, drag races, the whole nine yards.

Mom was always at his side, supporting the charmingly devious Murph. He loved to drink and smoke. As youngsters, my sister and I would ride from Appleton to Door County to our second home with Mom and Dad chain-smoking. We used to beg them to open the windows so we could breathe. I had athsma as a kid, and the parents used to wonder why I had an attack after an hour breathing cigarette smoke!

Dad grew up in a retirement home run by his Dad, and later grew up to become a nursing home administrator. I followed in his footsteps. 13 years running nursing homes, and eventually taking over the one he ran for 30-plus years. Got written up in the paper and everything. It was very cool.

After spending years at that home, with coffee cup always in hand, Dad got to see me run the place for five and a half years. He was so proud.

Then his health worsened. Secretly I wonder if my divorce did him in. He went in for a routine test and never recovered. I remember his last gaze into my eyes in that hospital bed. He looked like he wanted to go home. I'm glad it was fast for him even though I spent my first career running places like that to which he probably would have eventually gone.

Dad, you're still in my dreams, and that's a good thing. I know your watching my life. Sometimes you must wonder what the hell I'm doing. So do I. But you see the really good side of my life too. Thank you for having me. You created me, and I've had the miracle of seeing my own two girls born and begin to mature. None of that would have happened without you.

I Love You.

Memorial

Tonight I said farewell to a best friend. She was a confidant, a teacher, and an inspiration. Her contributions to my life were immeasurable. My love of her transcends our time together. The world has lost a wonderful creation, but God has gained a gentle, selfless soul.

I'll never forget you climbing up and rubbing my chin. I'll always remember how, even though you were 7 years old, you acted like a kitten. The quiet magic you exuded touched me in a dead place in my heart. I can't wait to see you again, if I am so blessed, in heaven.

I will always love you Minerva.

Autumn

It was 30 some degrees when I headed for work today, so, I wore "The Jacket". It is a leather Packer jacket and it's awesome. I've worn leather before, but this like butter. I love it.

In my last post I failed to mention the birthday party for my cousin Ellen that sis and I went to at Irvie's old house in North Bay over July 4th. Amazing. I really feel more connected to my family since going. Got to stomp around the old property, now owned by a widower who is very gracious about "guests". Anyway, it was really special, and I hope for more such opportunities.

Work today was good, and I am truly excited about some of the projects in which I'm involved. That's what makes it hard to look. Provider reengineering, Launcher toolbar (I created the prototype in VB), Weston site setup and testing -- all very fascinating. But I can't pay the bills when two thirds of my net is going to the X and kids (not that I'd do it any different), it's simply a practical matter. Debt up past $6,000 -- gotta do something.Also regarding work, I'm feeling more at home in my new development group. I feel better acceptance from the group, and continue to find my place with new projects, etc.. If the pay matched my contributions, I'd stay.

Grrrr....Why do I have two cats? They are such a pain in the ass. I should give them back. They're much more work and trouble than I thought. Fish would be nice. Or a robot cat. Or a naked mole rat. Or a lizard. The cats stink, scratch everything, get their hair all over the place, and the boy attacks V and E, and whines continuously. But the kids would be crushed if I got rid of them. Don't get me wrong -- I love cats and dogs, but have no time for them. Wow, Mount

Saint Helens about to blow again!

Okay, my politics. I'm an independent conservative. Neither Bush nor Kerry fit my definition of a great candidate. Comparatively, Bush beats Kerry, and I'll vote for Bush, but with a sense of "if only...". Bush is nothing more than a democrat from 30 years ago with a spritz of political correctness. I am not inspired. I was inspired with Reagan. I was mildly intrigued with Bush Sr.. I was alternately disgusted and amused with Clinton. Bush Jr.'s first term? So so. Response to 9/11/01 -- great. War on terror -- good. Stance on social issue -- okay. Control of government spending -- not so much. GO PACK.