A Typical MC PSWG Meeting

Some notes from a particularly useless "get-together" (NOT A MEETING AT MARSHFIELD CLINIC ON AUGUST 30, 2006):
*****
W, 8/30/06, PSWG, Noon
1215: My Boss (DJ), "note"-taker, not here. Schedule says HDM, but he's in his "room". Didn't notify anyone he'd miss the "party" he was supposed to "take notes" at. Nice example! UPDATE: Still in his "room" after the "party", gave me stupid grin.

Spent entire time arguing about PD: Blaming, deflecting, accusing, badgering, attacking, ridiculing, hogging credit, and blaming customers for OUR problems.
*****
It's nice to love your job (so I've heard).

My New Friend PIP

By the way, I post mostly from "the library" and cleanup later from home. This is particularly gratifying because the blundering dunderheads actually think they've successfully prevented people from blogging by not allowing their browsers to connect to blogger.com. The nincompoops (SP?) fail entirely to realize that we can just email our posts in using the miracle of the Blogger Email Post. In fact, I try to make my entries especially long sometimes just to hammer the point home.

But that's not why you called. So let's quit talking about me and... here... and get back the happenin-est friend-topic for young and old alike: Me and... Here!!

Apparently I am about to be introduced to PIP. PIP stands for Profoundly Important Paper (or something) and is rumored to comprise a plan on when and how I should kiss the slave master's ass in order to avoid "consequences". I'm not sure what "consequences", but I'm pretty sure emancipation is not in the offing since I've all but committed homicide... here... and have yet to be freed.

I'm sure that PIP and I will become fast friends. In fact I already have a warm feeling for PIP; warm like the tip of a lit Bic. Can you safely cram burning PIP into someone's nether-crevice? The world may never know. OR WILL THEY?!?! <cue scary organ music>

Oh, my new hero Campbell took the vows this weekend. I had to hear that from his co-inker at Human Canvas. Seems he missed work Monday and Tuesday, too. I think I'll bring him some "personal renewal ointment" tonight for a present. Or a loaded shotgun. Both would solve particular problems. But I kid.

X is witholding the kids from me again. She's so nice. Why did I ever divorce her sweet, caring, totally not-malicious self? Must have been crazy. Oh well. Sending her $1K every two weeks helps with the hideous guilt and regret. Maybe Campbell and I could share the shotgun... (Um, kidding again, hee hee).

Hope to upload some awesome sunset pics later when I get home from... here. Tres magnific!

Found a shop that sells used police interceptors. They have one from Menasha PD! I want it!! Check them out a http://www.usedcopcars.com.

Tat's a Rap!

A quick shout out to my new favorite graphic artist, Campbell. Awesome job on my tat, bro. Kinda spooky, though, 'cause it's like you're in my MIND. Spooky for YOU, that is!! BWA HAH HAH HAHHHH!!!!

Feeeeearsssths!!!

Ha HAH! Thee Macho Poodle!

He can beee

In many places

ALL AT THEEE SAME TIME!!

Here's Teken's Icon

Yes and here is Teken's basic icon. When you see this very macho poodle, you know fun and wacky hijinks are just around the corner! He's just "Teken care of business!".


Okay, that was way over the top and I am sorry, but the kids and I did brainstorm this icon of MP. Subject to evolution of course, but a good start, don't you think?

Namesake

Yes, this is THEE Macho Poodle. Be careful! He looks cute, but he is oh, so MACHO!!

Checking In

Tasty, nutritious bullets of existence:

• Been accused, found guilty and punished for "harassment" at work
• Caught up on my laundry
• Told my team leader I'm looking
• Vented monumentally to EAP about work crap
• Commissioned a tatto (titter)
• Bought a huge thing, I'm obsessed
• Lived a whole bunch of days without running out of money, but only barely
• Got my new checks from MMCCU
• Wrote this blog entry
• Pooped some
• Stopped Rezorem, started Lunesta -- ??
• Ate some
• Cruised randomly some -- joy
• Pooped a little bit more
• Accidentally swallowed tin foil
• Discovered a bit about the nature of friendship
• Invented equation: Inner resonance (R) = [good deeds + nobody watching]
• Created the "self-assessment continuum" concept, squarely placing myself in the middle somewhere
• Pet the cat
• Tried to poop but only farted -- awww, man!!
• Reflected on the diametric profundity of stuff...

40 things

Yes, the email headers are annoying, but what price posterity?!

------Forward Message------
From: Wolfe, Jason
Date: Wed Aug 09, 2006 -- 11:45:58 AM
To: bastianm, blackcj, boudreal, boudreat, clevelcc, demeratd, dukesr, glinskir, knechta, shavep, vechinsj, verhagel, zahnj
Subject: Fwd: FW: 40 things

Too funny......

I could really use some of these, and I think I will these next 2 weeks!

Wolfie

------Forward Message------
From: Wolfe, Melissa
Date: Wed Aug 09, 2006 -- 10:14:49 AM
To: bowes, churchsk, crlniemi@hotmail.com, janice.gleisner@roehl.net, kristinar@gsiwc.org, langml, mccaulek, olivarre, truhlarj, wolfej
Subject: Fwd: FW: 40 things

To funny

------Forward Message------
From: Verkilen, Amanda
Date: Wed Aug 09, 2006 -- 09:29:07 AM
To: cablej, churchsk, haukek, rineb, smithjv, suefeltz@northlandstainless.com, tfeltz@abprocess.com, wolfemj
Subject: Fwd: FW: 40 things

------Original Message------
From: "Laurie Jarvenpaa" <LJarvenpaa@1strate.com>
Date: Tue Aug 08, 2006 -- 06:43:55 PM
To: "1st Rate Oshkosh Loan Officers" <OshkoshLoanOfficers@1strate.local>, "Lisa Hoffmann" <LHoffmann@1strate.com>, <verkilen.amanda@marshfieldclinic.org>, <JARVEY61@aol.com>, <stream_8@hotmail.com>, <nursejen05@hotmail.com>, <wenderfamily@earthlink.net>, <drschuh@charter.net>, <dawn.schuh@cobalt-corp.com>, <jschuh@uwsp.edu>, "KJ Kreis " <kjkreis@charter.net>, <LDeffner@schuettemetals.com>, <mkoenig@bankfirstnational.com>, <scottydbennett@bellsouth.net>
Subject: FW: 40 things

40 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK:

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my
way.

6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're
saying.

10. Ahhhh ... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point
of
view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an
artist.

18. Any connections between your reality and mine is purely
coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be ....?

24. Do I look like a f*cking people person to you?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & I still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. Oh I get it ... like humor ... but different.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door ..1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume.....Must you really marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, and disorder .... my work here is finally done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

40. Wait a minute --- I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

F I U R R R R R R R R R R D A H ! ! !

Honestly, I think I'd have to kill someone to get canned. But whom?

Nah, then they'd have cause and I wouldn't be able to collect unemployment. Crap, even if I could I'd be in prison, sleeping next to Tiny with one eye closed.

Just had a triple espresso from Starbucks. Hope it keeps me --SNOOOORRRRE--...

Cripes! It hurts your neck to bob your head to sleep and then suddenly wake up. Know what I mean?

NHA job in Rib Lake with a subsidiary of Beverly. I applied. Wish me luck.

Put Dad's desk together last night up in the bedroom 'foryer'. Looks nice. Good to have it back, and to have the garage cleared out. Except that, even though I wore a bandanna over my nose and mouth, the black garage dirt still got up my nose. How do I know? Dirty tissues. Plus it tastes horrible... kidding.

Raeqwon

That's a name I learned this weekend, and needed to spell it out to help cement it in my brain.

On Saturday evening I was putzing around with my new umbrella beach chair in the driveway. Once assembled, I sat there thinking I would read Popular Mechanic, but was immediately distracted by a coupla playful neighborhood kids. Before you know it, 94 and 97 were outside and our cosey little cul-du-sac became a playground. What fun!!

Alas, the blue foam boom-a-rang thing got stuck in a tree. An adult neighbor came by to check on the joyful noise and helped get it down with a basketball. Turns out he's the dad of one of the cute kids, Raeqwon. Nice folks. How do I know? Cause I spent a good part of the rest of the night helping them with their computer issues.

I can't tell you how thrilled I was/am to get out an get to know neighbors. Man, Gabe makes the best fresh lemonade, and his three kids are absolutely adorable. His wife is starting to do medical billing from home, and I'm gonna help her learn the comfuzer.

Put up a coupla Packer "G"s, a neat lighthouse, and a smiley face sculpture outside my place to make it look more homey. Hmmmm, nice!

A good weekend!

Irony Board

I find myself awash in irony. 

 

I am late on rent and other bills, but have many thousands of dollars.  To get at these dollars I have to get rid of my job.  I hate my job, so getting rid of it would be a blessing.  I haven't found a new one yet.  I can't quit my job because I don't have an adequate "go to hell" fund.  If I was fired I could collect unemployment and that would be groovy.  They won't fire me because they're... well... incompetant and lazy.  Which is why I hate my job.

 

See the irony here, people?!

 

This has just got to be worth a good laugh when I'm through it.

 

Right?

 

Rules

Short rant about rules:

1. Rules are abstractions. They don't allow for learning directly about cause and effect. Therefore they're only good in extreme situations. Of course you're going to have a rule that says "No smoking in the gasoline storage shed". You don't want anyone finding out why the hard way. But, rules that, when broken, do not cause loss of life or limb, are stupid. The further from harm you get, in fact, the more ridiculous rules become.

2. Rules are really tricky. You have to write them very thoroughly. "No smoking" doesn't say "No lighting fire crackers", right? If you wrote down every single thing that would cause an explosion, nobody would read the rules. If you simply state "avoid ignition", some people may not understand. In fact, they'll probably light up a smoke to think about it...

3. Teach people, and let them make mistakes. That's how we learn. Consequences.

Just keep the rules reasonable, folks. Otherwise they're meaningless. Read a legal disclaimer after a car commercial some time and you'll see.

Kindergarten

Whew, I'm really glad I didn't post the rant I had all written out yesterday. That would have been a mistake. Rage sucks. Left over brainstem stuff, I know, but man it sucks hard.

Yesterday I sought help from my boss. He shut me down totally. Game over. I was thunder struck, and I totally didn't expect the lack of humanity. So I bring you...

Adversity

(when life shits on your plate)

Get a new plate. Don't wail and piss and moan alot, because nobody's going to care much.

It's like sitting down to a game of checkers with a new opponent. You both have played checkers before so you know the rules. But, on his first move, your opponent moves from a black to a red square. You call him on it, but he just looks at you blankly and says "your turn". Stunned and a bit angry, you follow suit. Next, your opponent moves his piece two squares instead of one. Now you're on to him. So you move two squares. In fact, maybe you throw in your own rule change and start putting your pieces back on the board when you land on red squares. That'll show him. Right? Ummm...

Okay, now you're not playing checkers any more are you? Now you're playing a game with no rules and so nobody can really win, and we all know how that games ends. You both end up screaming that you won, and maybe punch each other. Just like kindergarten. Then it's milk time. Very mature.

See, your only real option here is to calmly get up and find a different person to play with. True, this jackass just wasted your recess, but that's life. Sticking it out is even more unpleasent. Escalating the situation won't make you happy. And you know it. Tell the teacher? Sure, but you know what they say about tattle-tails...

Move on. Go have your milk and get your mat out and lie down and take a nap. Screw the psycho checker bully.

Creepy Math Puzzle

1. GRAB A CALCULATOR. (YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO DO THIS ONE IN YOUR HEAD).
2. KEY IN THE FIRST THREE DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER (NOT THE AREA CODE).
3. MULTIPLY BY 80.
4. ADD 1.
5. MULTIPLY BY 250.
6. ADD THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER.
7. ADD THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER AGAIN!
8. SUBTRACT 250.
9. DIVIDE NUMBER BY 2.

DO YOU RECOGNIZE THE ANSWER?

Get a Part-Time Job

NOTE: This is an email I sent myself on July 31st, after a talk with... "someone":

This one burns. White hot. You know, the feeling that you've actually been flash-frozen it's so hot? Yeah, that's how this burns.

Unfortunately, I don't have a prophetic monologue in mind for the way I have just been treated, so let me descibe it to you. Then maybe I'll gain the clarity of mind to approach the situation positively.

I just trusted "someone" enough to confide in him that, through the sickness of my kids' mother, my mom's hospitalization, and my own brush with the grim reaper, I have been left financially weakened. I asked if it were possible to cut my commuting expenses by working from one of the five locations we have closer to my home. This would probably save me about $70 a week in gas.

The answer was nearly instantaneous and was preceeded by no words of understanding: "No, I don't see how that's possible." He said it with no regret, no empathy. In fact, if I were to assign an emotion to his rapid-fire response, it would have to be self-satisfaction. That was it. No discussion. Game over.

Now, really, I wasn't expecting a gush of warm, touchy-feely support. But I thought there would be at least an attempt to appear concerned.

"Maybe you should get a part time job to help." WTF?!?!?! Right, work 45 hours a week here, plus 10 more hours of commuting, and then go back and work part time?! Okay, sure, maybe I could get a job KICKING YOUR SICK, CLUELESS ASS!! Shit, I'd do that job for free!

About an hour later, "someone" suggests that I contact Employee Assistance to help. I informed him that I've already enlisted they're "top notch" help, so he just shruged and walked away.

Okay, I said a prayer, took a moment to cool-off, and all of that. But I am still so royally pissed that I could just walk the fuck out of here right now.

I work under conditions (heavy edit) that are truly sick. I mean gangrenously, pustulently, cancerously, toxically, virulently, violently ill. I need to recognize this and move on. I will.

How does this emotional rape make me feel? Unwanted, unworthy, weak, pathetic, sad, disappointed, angry, and vengeful. Every single fucked-up emotion I could feel -- all at once.

It

Just a very rough draft. Not done yet. Patience.

None of what you are about to read makes any sense if you're in a hurry. Or if your mad. Go away and get over it first.

Little fish. Remember, there's nothing you can do about the time before you arrived. Alot of good meaning people and grace survived and got you here in the first place. You're standing on their shoulders and most of the time that pressure you feel is them propelling you forward. Take it and go with it. You don't deserve it. It simply is. Make good choices. Do what's right. Every day, even the small stuff people don't notice. Steal if you have to, but always pay back and then some. Sometimes the ends DO justify the means, but when the means include deceit, theft, lies, mistruths or other shenanigans, they usually don't.

No, you did not ask to be born. Yes, you can kill yourself. BUT -- think of the other people who love you -- they didn't ask to be born either. Still, if you decide to go, then go. It's not good or bad. It just is. But what a shame.

You are a rubber band. How big you are and how strong are not your choice. You can be stretched to store potential energy and that energy can be released later. The energy can be used for good or evil, it's your choice. Oh, you could also just stay in the dark drawer with the other rubber bands. No energy, no potential, no moment of release, no thrill of effect. No difference. Again, maybe it's not a great choice, but it beats the heck out of becoming a terrorist.

You are constantly expanding to fill the voids around you, and the voids will never be full. But, when you expand too quickly, you can break like an anurism. Stretch carefully and in a controlled way until you reach a new limit and then stop and reflect. "Was this stretch for good or evil" ask yourself. Repeat. Question the limit.

Every single 'thing' in your life is a continuum. A range. Low to high, soft to loud, like that. You are plunked down more or less in the middle of the continua, it's your job to keep between the lines. There will be highs and lows. Be steady. But don't over react.

You are built to test limits, not to follow rules. You are a sports car. You are moving very fast. You need instruments you can trust to help you to navigate. Unfortunately there are none. You have to make them. Try judging your success ONLY by whether your actions result in good or bad outcomes. Feedback you get from so-called 'objective measures' of success in life (pay, position, praise, power) is often too contradictory to get a good read on where you are or how you're doing. You'll get much better feedback listening to your heart. Fly by feel. Know what's right. Stretch when you hit a boundry that doesn't feel right. Stop or slow down when it gets scary, not just when you 'see' an obstacle. Why? Because it is often either 1) your imperfect senses giving you messed-up messages, or 2) 'society' being really screwed up as usual (think Enron).

Rules. Don't get me started.

God gave you Gut. Use it. Gut, gut, gut.

Your eyes can deceive you.

Your ears can hear things you make up.

Wrote processing of thought by blindly applying 'rules' is extremely dangerous: like Auschwitz and the Reich. Don't force the literal. It's a sign of mental fatigue that can lead to subjugation.

You are the rubber band. You decide when to stretch and when to release. All the crap setup around you is not in your control, but your response to it is.

Oh yeah, all of the beauty, magic, and miracle you see around you are also out of your control, but you have to power to appreciate it and be thankful. Do it. It's never wrong. Even when it's a beautiful woman/man whom you'll never get, but would take in a heartbeat. It's okay to be attracted. It's not okay to be a letch.

Keep giving. If you don't have money, give a shit. It means more anyway, believe me. Open doors. Hug. Use terms of endearment. Tease lovingly. Talk to the cash register dude. Make eye contact. Share. Give. Remember. Pay attention. Give. Love.

Society, bad friends, drugs, bad rearing, and disease can blur your sense of what's right and what's wrong -- even before you know it to begin with. Once you get it, keep it and never waver. Remember, we all die. Better to die for what's right than to live another day having compromised what's right.

Knowing this, also realize that you will do wrong. Alot. Even on purpose sometimes. It all becomes part of the past. Learn from it. That's all you can do. Let it hurt when you err, but don't kill yourself over it. God made you. He wants you to be happy. You'll only be happy if you do right. You'll only do right if you take chances. You can't take chances when your dead.

No wrong you can do can condemn you. No good you can do can earn you redemption. Again, you were already going blindingly fast when you got here.

You can't know what comes after this life. Nobody can. Not a Priest, Judge, or President. But don't quit trying to figure it out -- the mind loves a puzzle.

Man plans, God laughs, but not because it's funny -- he just knows the final score and outcome. Ha ha.

Don't do evil even if it's "deserved" (whatever that means). Hitler was not an evil person -- but he did killed and maimed because he couldn't let go of the evil others had done to him. Plus he had crazies around him who also supported him and his messed-up priorities. I truly believe he was sorry just before he died. Remember: Revenge hurts the avenger, too. Alot. And it never works.

Try not to judge others. You have too much on your own plate. It's like driving off a cliff because you let go of the wheel to point at another driver's mistake. Let it go. Worry about you.

Getting drunk, acting stupid, gambling, looking at porn, smoking, and all those other vices do have their place. But really, they should be entertainment only. Don't get caught up or addicted.

You were born going 80 miles an hour down a crowded freeway. You neither chose nor have any idea where you're going at first -- nobody does. Honestly, neither did your mom and dad when they had you, probably. All those friendly faces can teach you to drive, but starting the instant you can reach the pedals and steering wheel, the ride's yours. Don't scream and cover your eyes. There's no time. Follow the rules, don't wreck. Change lanes, take exits, change direction. Site see. Pick a new destination.

My Baby's NINE!

No Toe Nail

Free the toes!

God Wrote "Office Space"

Hey Teken, how's it goin...yeah, so, did you get the memo about the new cover letter for the TPS reports? Yeah, well I'm gonna have to ask you to just go ahead and, ah,...

If you'd like to see a snapshot in my daily work life, just see the movie "Office Space". I am Peter. And I'm at the part of the movie where every day is my worst day. I haven't seen the occupational hypnotherapist yet.

My team leader uses a non-standard Red Swingline Stapler. Says it doesn't bind up like the Stanley Bostitch. I shit you not.

But is it really good to be a gangsta?

I'll get back to you...

Family Nuggets

1. My Uncle D.S. had a lover who left him a ton of money. He divorced my aunt (Mom's side) and left her with almost nothing.

2. My Uncle K.F. (Mom's side) was a grifter who died in his sleep from insulin and sleeping pills. He, his wife, and kids (gorgious, I just met them a couple of years ago) had to leave Colorado after just opening all of their Christmas gifts one year.

3. My Aunt C.B.'s husband's Mom shot her pregnant daughter and herself to death in the house across from our cottage (back in the 1950s I think).

4. I still have the most unbelievable crushes on my two cousins D.B. and J.B.. Shame shame shame!