Rantasia

DISCLAIMER: The following is a mild rant. Prolonged exposure, including conentrating and inhaling vapors may be harmful or fatal.

I spent $500 on a video card. FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS, PEOPLE!! Now, that alone probably makes me appear to be an impulsive geek, but alot of research went into selecting this thing.

For FIVE HUNDRED FU&$ING DOLLARS, you'd think it could play nice with my other hardware. BUT NOOOOOOOOO! Like some sort of digital prima donna, the card had plopped its fat, spoiled ass down right on my firewire resources. And it won't budge. And I'm getting no help. And I'm pissed. I am very tempted to return this temperamental resource hog, but it produces amazing graphics.

They've got me.

So, I ordered a new firewire card in hopes that it will placate this self-proclaimed master of my PC. If not, back the video card goes.

### END RANT ###

PEEEEEEEKABOOOOOOOOOO!

Alright, fine. I haven't posted in a week. I'm still here. I just had to get something out of my system.

94 turned 11 last week, and her birthday party was yesterday at the local skating place. It was heart-achingly fascinating watching how independent she is. She's so thoughtful and vibrant. She has so many friends. Wow.

97 was alot of fun at the skating place. She loves the camera, and I spent an hour taping the party. OH! And she lost another tooth! Tooth Fairy came through again. Seems a buck isn't what it used to be, though, as I detected a vailed complaint about how the paultry sum must have been because "it was just a small bottom tooth". Hmmm...

Zitboy

Ah, the weekend. Time to relax. Unwind. Time to sprout odd facial deformities. Huh?

I awoke Saturday to twin zits on the corner of my mouth. I'm 41 years old for Christ's sake! I've got my kids calling me "Zitboy" now. Ankle-biting ingrates.

Oh, and this low-fat, high-fiber crap is really a pox on my happiness. Bacon is a tradition on weekend mornings around here, and I had a total of three pieces. Three in two days. Do you know how good a sausage egg and cheese biscuit would taste for breakfast tomorrow? Do you?!

We had Papa Murphy's pizza for supper last night, though. Talk about a heavenly indulgence! It was magic. The smell alone, however, raised my triglys by 100 or so points (or whatever measurement system they use).

Good weekend altogether, though. 94 is camping at the school forest Monday through Wednesday, and she is just jazzed. We drove by the camp so she could see the buildings. We played "school forest trivia" all the way home.

Saturday, 97 went to a birthday party, so I had cherised 94/Dad time!! We malled and got 94 a disposable camera for camping. It was fun.

Today's mass was lead by two missionaries. It was quite good. The choir was awesome. First time I've heard them and I've been attending for two years. Got me thinking about joining, but that would mean choiring instead of being with the kids. Hmmm... What do you think?

Motor Excess

If the world were just, I would be skinny. Of course, I've always thought that, but now I have scientific proof.

I've been a percussionist since 6th grade. I did 4 years in drum corps, played professionally in two orchestras, and attended a prestigious conservatory. This means that, in my daily life, I am constantly, incessantly drumming. On my legs, steering wheel, keyboard tray, whatever. I even keep drum sticks at work. It annoys the hell out of just about anybody with whom I become comfortable enough to do it (everyone). Except other drummers, who seem compelled to join in, and we jam.

Also, my legs quite often piston up and down on their own, unbeknownst to me until someone shoots ocular arrows at me or whacks my leg, or both. Hey, gotta keep the calf muscles toned for the bass drum and hi-hat!

Finally, I'm always chewing gum. My temporal/mandibular muscles are huge.

Now, according to the Post article I should be a lean, mean, annoying machine. So why am I fat, fat, fat? I mean, how could a few double quarter pounders with cheese, a six pack, and a completely sedentary job POSSIBLY compete with my superior fidgeticity? It's wrong, I tell you!

There's gotta be someone I can sue.

Worms for Bear

Very early yesterday morning, after a sleepless night, I had a very odd-but-vivid dream. Executive summary:

1) Installing big scanner at Weston clinic
2) Nowhere to put it
3) Amish patients in waiting rooms, amongst continued construction
4) Huge safety problems
5) Frustration reporting number 4 above
6) Scene transition to Lake Winnebago
7) Altercation with bear during another scene transition to a mall
8) Bear and I communicate
9) Bear wants worms
10) I get bear worms and then I wake up

Welcome to my subconscious mind. What would

The Well Seasoned Cow

The last couple of evenings have been joyously vegitative. Or perhaps carnivorous, since I've been feasting on beef tenderloins for supper with a smooth Merlot.

Yes, Festival had a sale on near-expiration tenderloins again. I couldn't resist. Nature's Seasonings is the best stuff. For those of you who don't know, Nature's Seasons is a blend of salt, pepper, and garlic predominantly. Steak made with a generous sprinkling of the stuff (on both sides) tastes like, well, home.

What did I learn on the Apprentice yesterday? That goofy, guitar-playing hippies get fired early. I also learned that I watch the show to see these addle-brained half-wits stumble and bumble along. I find the back-biting rather intriguing too, in a "driving slowly by the accident scene" kind of way.

Sleep With One Eye Open

I've had high blood pressure since I was 17. No one is sure why. I was fit and healthy otherwise, go figure.

Today was my annual physical. We had a long talk about my risk factors, lab tests, and all that other mumbo-jumbo. I find it acutely humbling to sit in a 4x6' exam room talking about these things, waiting for the obligatory lecture about diet and exercise.

However, there's reason for joy and celebration: Today was my first prostate check! WOOOOOOOOOT!! What a freakin' slice of juicy fresh heaven that was! If I didn't know better, I'd expect to meet my doctor going back to prison after work release. Well, I'm her bee-ahtch now, oh boy!

Doc changed my hypertension meds again because my pressure was 150/100. Given my erratic and inexplicable history, it's like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, though.

I also got religion about my lipids. I won't bore you, but Doc says when they were doing my blood work they noticed fat cells shaped suspiciously like a certain set of "Golden Arches" floating by. Not good. I shall learn to like oat meal and Cheerios. Alot. And I shall shun tastiness. Who needs comfort foods anyway? Yeah, I'll be like a one-man parade of prandial purity (sorry, didn't mean to spit).

Who am I kidding?

Bumsen!

I was plagued with peeves during my 500 foot trip back home. Now, that's pretty incredible for such a wee walk.

Peeve 1: Snow removal. The apartment parking lot and sidewalk are variably covered with snow and ice. This makes walking more of an adventure, sure, but I don't EVER feel particularly adventurous at night after a long day of surfing the net work. EVER.

Peeve 2: Note for FEDEX. I carefully posted a note for the FedEx guy to deliver a package I was expecting to my neighbor. It was grammatically correct and contained no profanity (unless you skipped every other letter, hee hee). When I went in the front door it was gone. I almost posted another note saying "Leave my notes the FUCK alone!", but I'm a coward. Grrrrr.

Peeve 3: State tax refund. It came in the form of a paper check when I specified direct deposit. DAMMIT! I hate paper! I'm a paperphobe, or is that a celluphobe or wastingpreciousnaturalresourcesandtotallywastingmytimeophobe?

Peeve 4: Overturned bathroom garbage. Given the look on his face and his cowering, I'm sure Howdy would have undone it if he could have. I know all sorts of interesting, crackly, smelly things go in the bathroom garbage, but why must he be such a snoop? What if I filled the garbage bin with water one morning before I left? I'll tell you what: I'd be mopping up a floor full of water when I got home.

I know these are small things, but stack them all on top of one another over 5 minutes after work, and I feel the need for a fistfull of prozac and a water glass full of vodka. Instead, I worked some more on my computer, which isn't AT ALL frustrating, expecially when I spontaneously loose sound and video. And what's really not infuriating is when I try to record a show and my clock is set for the wrong time zone.