"Bring It"

"Bring it", she said. X met me at the door to her condo this evening in a rage. She seethed something about my apartment being unsafe, and "God knows what goes on there". She kept the children from me. I calmly asked her to reconsider and she refused. Then she said it: "Bring it". Unheralded, out of context, and with complete hatred, like we were in a cage fight or something.

So, I assured her she'd be hearing from my lawyer. She claimed I didn't have one, and that's when I stumbled a bit and sunk to her level. I told her my lawyer's name and what he knows about her. I shouldn't have done that.

I turned around, came home, and here I am. I do not want revenge, I do not want to fight. I just want my kids. My beautiful, beautiful kids. I miss them so much I ache. I thought the divorce would end X's abuse, but it has only escalated it because she uses the kids as weapons. It is sickening. It is hateful.

How odd that, back when I was working, everything was fine and dandy, even when I was in the hospital she brought the kids to see me, but, now that the checks aren't coming, suddenly I'm unsafe. I guess people let us know who they are by their actions, we just have to observe. Oh, yeah, she yipped something about my life insurance, too. I told here that, being unemployed, I was concentrating on feeding and housing myself right now. That didn't stop her from having her lawyer send me a note complaining about me not having life insurance. Really makes you think, doesn't it? Arrest me. I have no contempt for the court or the divorce decree, but plenty for that hag-parasite, the no-good bottom-feeder.

I'm not sure what to do next. I've got to breathe. I better phone my attorney and leave a message now, just so he has this on record. I am alone, broken-hearted, and lost. I am so afraid. Will write more later.