NOTE: This is an email I sent myself on July 31st, after a talk with... "someone":
This one burns. White hot. You know, the feeling that you've actually been flash-frozen it's so hot? Yeah, that's how this burns.
Unfortunately, I don't have a prophetic monologue in mind for the way I have just been treated, so let me descibe it to you. Then maybe I'll gain the clarity of mind to approach the situation positively.
I just trusted "someone" enough to confide in him that, through the sickness of my kids' mother, my mom's hospitalization, and my own brush with the grim reaper, I have been left financially weakened. I asked if it were possible to cut my commuting expenses by working from one of the five locations we have closer to my home. This would probably save me about $70 a week in gas.
The answer was nearly instantaneous and was preceeded by no words of understanding: "No, I don't see how that's possible." He said it with no regret, no empathy. In fact, if I were to assign an emotion to his rapid-fire response, it would have to be self-satisfaction. That was it. No discussion. Game over.
Now, really, I wasn't expecting a gush of warm, touchy-feely support. But I thought there would be at least an attempt to appear concerned.
"Maybe you should get a part time job to help." WTF?!?!?! Right, work 45 hours a week here, plus 10 more hours of commuting, and then go back and work part time?! Okay, sure, maybe I could get a job KICKING YOUR SICK, CLUELESS ASS!! Shit, I'd do that job for free!
About an hour later, "someone" suggests that I contact Employee Assistance to help. I informed him that I've already enlisted they're "top notch" help, so he just shruged and walked away.
Okay, I said a prayer, took a moment to cool-off, and all of that. But I am still so royally pissed that I could just walk the fuck out of here right now.
I work under conditions (heavy edit) that are truly sick. I mean gangrenously, pustulently, cancerously, toxically, virulently, violently ill. I need to recognize this and move on. I will.
How does this emotional rape make me feel? Unwanted, unworthy, weak, pathetic, sad, disappointed, angry, and vengeful. Every single fucked-up emotion I could feel -- all at once.
This one burns. White hot. You know, the feeling that you've actually been flash-frozen it's so hot? Yeah, that's how this burns.
Unfortunately, I don't have a prophetic monologue in mind for the way I have just been treated, so let me descibe it to you. Then maybe I'll gain the clarity of mind to approach the situation positively.
I just trusted "someone" enough to confide in him that, through the sickness of my kids' mother, my mom's hospitalization, and my own brush with the grim reaper, I have been left financially weakened. I asked if it were possible to cut my commuting expenses by working from one of the five locations we have closer to my home. This would probably save me about $70 a week in gas.
The answer was nearly instantaneous and was preceeded by no words of understanding: "No, I don't see how that's possible." He said it with no regret, no empathy. In fact, if I were to assign an emotion to his rapid-fire response, it would have to be self-satisfaction. That was it. No discussion. Game over.
Now, really, I wasn't expecting a gush of warm, touchy-feely support. But I thought there would be at least an attempt to appear concerned.
"Maybe you should get a part time job to help." WTF?!?!?! Right, work 45 hours a week here, plus 10 more hours of commuting, and then go back and work part time?! Okay, sure, maybe I could get a job KICKING YOUR SICK, CLUELESS ASS!! Shit, I'd do that job for free!
About an hour later, "someone" suggests that I contact Employee Assistance to help. I informed him that I've already enlisted they're "top notch" help, so he just shruged and walked away.
Okay, I said a prayer, took a moment to cool-off, and all of that. But I am still so royally pissed that I could just walk the fuck out of here right now.
I work under conditions (heavy edit) that are truly sick. I mean gangrenously, pustulently, cancerously, toxically, virulently, violently ill. I need to recognize this and move on. I will.
How does this emotional rape make me feel? Unwanted, unworthy, weak, pathetic, sad, disappointed, angry, and vengeful. Every single fucked-up emotion I could feel -- all at once.
