Evil Jelly Beans

Last Thursday I was innocently chewing on a few jelly beans when CRACK!! Felt like I had tried to chew a diamond. "What the hell is in these jelly beans?!", I thought. My three workmates, with whom I was meeting at the time, heard the crack. Turns out the only odd thing in the candy was the back of one of my molars. It had cracked off, exposing the filling and not much else. The filling is sharp.

Thought I could get by with the tooth as is. Didn't hurt, so I thought, "what the heck". Then, on Saturday the gum tissue around the broken molar got curious and started moving over and rubbing on the sharp filling. Ouch!, they said. Of course, my gums had no exit strategy, so they were trapped there, getting cut every time I chewed, yawned, swallowed, or talked.

So, today I decided that drastic measures were called for. I went to the dentist. The dentist scolded the gum tissue, but to no avail. This was going to be painful. Two doses of Novacaine later (injected using one of those kid doctor syringes), there went the dentist, drilling down into my toes. He put on a temporary filling that looks like a piece of chewing gum. "That's only temporary", says the dentist. NO SHIT, ya think?!, I thought. All I said is "uh huh".

"You'll need a root canal and crown on that tooth", gushed the dentist. It's all a friggin' conspiracy. They drill most of your tooth away when they fill it, then 30 years later it breaks and you have to take out a loan to go through hell. Isn't that a Homeland Security violation of some sort?