26 years driving in Wisconsin winters. 26 years of not really even a close call. But I ended up in the ditch last tuesday. Yup. The car upshifted at 35 mph, the back end of the hoopty slides right. The sphincter tightens. I cross the center line and slide into some farmer's field, facing the highway.
You know, I wonder why the road crew didn't salt or sand on a day when the temperatures were predicted to drop way below freezing. For days. I'm glad hurricanes don't happen here.
A nice family stopped to make sure all was well. Thanks guys! But I called 911 to get a trooper out there. The 12 year old cop arrived and asked me my wrecker preference. I said whatever gets here quick. We went back to our cars.
KNOCK KNOCK. Sphincter tightens again. It was the farm owner. I roll down my window and the man says "I wouldn't mind if you tried to drive out". Seeing the 60 degree angle I'd have to traverse, I shake my head. But he doesn't give up. "I'll push, just give 'er the gas!" Fine. Won't work, but this guy's nice.
After a couple of abortive attemtps, the car goes up and on the highway. WTF?!
All I can do is wave at the guy and yell "THANKS!!!". He gives me a wave and walks back to the barn.
I pull up behind the cop car, get out, and run up to his passenger window. "I got out", I say. The cop looks at me, cranks his neck around to look at the ditch, and looks at me. "Oh!" He apparently thought I was backup pulling up behind him (I have a Grand Marquis just like him). He never saw me get out. "I think we're all set", I say, and get back in my car and return home at 5 mph.
Crap! I know I got out and all, and I owe the farmer (Fleet Farm gift certificate on it's way), but I hated it. Never want to do it again. It sucks.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Get Out of My HEAD!
Did you know that people are getting in trouble for blogging about work? Fired, actually. Yup, corporate stooges learn that employees have blogs, and then they troll to see if they say anything even remotely related to the company. Huh. Wow. That's got to be scary... for those who actually blog about work... yeah.
So anyway, there's this... thing... I know, NOT FROM WORK, who has been getting in my head. Actually two... things...
These mythical things do stuff like copying a person of authority in on petty issues using what I like to call Imail (not at all talking about email here, you silly!). Anyways, these things actually think they're affecting the person of authority to think negatively of me, when, in reality the person of authority rolls his/her eyes and gets pissed. The things actually even conspire to tell the person-of-authority's person of authority (again, not at work at all) about these issues. Now, the upper person of authority is buying the crap. Not a shock, actually. So now it's a "smear Teken" cabal.
The point is that I've actually let the things into my head. It's toxic. It's not me. I know better. But I can't stand the things. They burn.
In closing, remember: people are actually getting fired for blogging about work. Just say no.
So anyway, there's this... thing... I know, NOT FROM WORK, who has been getting in my head. Actually two... things...
These mythical things do stuff like copying a person of authority in on petty issues using what I like to call Imail (not at all talking about email here, you silly!). Anyways, these things actually think they're affecting the person of authority to think negatively of me, when, in reality the person of authority rolls his/her eyes and gets pissed. The things actually even conspire to tell the person-of-authority's person of authority (again, not at work at all) about these issues. Now, the upper person of authority is buying the crap. Not a shock, actually. So now it's a "smear Teken" cabal.
The point is that I've actually let the things into my head. It's toxic. It's not me. I know better. But I can't stand the things. They burn.
In closing, remember: people are actually getting fired for blogging about work. Just say no.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Hyper Teken
I knew today was going to be interesting when I awoke at 5am thinking "Hmmm... gotta do the wash, have coffee, make breakfast, go shopping, do more wash -- yeah, more wash -- think I need another hamper...". And on and on and on.
By about 11am I had most of the list accomplished and suddenly realized that this was not me. Well, of course it was -- and is -- me, but... well you know what I mean.
I had 97 cleaning her room, folding her clothes, helping with the chores. AND I actually did all the dishes. Plenty of cuddle time, too. By 1pm we went to pick up 94 (she had been babysitting), and we were both famished. We ate at mickey d's and went shopping. Spent the last part of the afternoon putting together 97's new dresser. Had slow cooker chicken stew for supper (yummy!).
Methinks 97's a little over tired right now, or perhaps PMSy -- oh wait, she's only 8. Sheeesh!
The movie Twitches was on tonight (secretly 97 and I watched it last night), and the girls gave it rave reviews. 94's comment was "Movies like that make you want to have powers.". Why? It's a Disney Channel movie about twins who never met each other and it turns out they're from a different dimension and have magic and like it's up to them to save the world from "The Darkness", and they like have SUPER magic if the hold hands, and they are totally in their own dramas but they learn how to make room for each other and they meet their mother who they thought was dead, but they had been drawing pictures of her and the evil guy and Coventry, and... AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Sorry, that was a moment of insanity brought to you by Daddy. "Daddy -- always trying to be in tune with my children." That's my motto. But I know that it's only a matter of precious months before I become the Lamest Person On Earth. For now, I'm satisfied with the pure glee the kids get when I buy them Ice Breakers Liquid Ice, or new Lemon Zest Colgate toothpaste. I love to bring them joy. Unfortunately, soon that will only be possible when I pay for everything and stay the heck away from them and their friends. I know because I was once their age. It's inevitable. "It's nature's way." It sucks.
On that note, good night.
By about 11am I had most of the list accomplished and suddenly realized that this was not me. Well, of course it was -- and is -- me, but... well you know what I mean.
I had 97 cleaning her room, folding her clothes, helping with the chores. AND I actually did all the dishes. Plenty of cuddle time, too. By 1pm we went to pick up 94 (she had been babysitting), and we were both famished. We ate at mickey d's and went shopping. Spent the last part of the afternoon putting together 97's new dresser. Had slow cooker chicken stew for supper (yummy!).
Methinks 97's a little over tired right now, or perhaps PMSy -- oh wait, she's only 8. Sheeesh!
The movie Twitches was on tonight (secretly 97 and I watched it last night), and the girls gave it rave reviews. 94's comment was "Movies like that make you want to have powers.". Why? It's a Disney Channel movie about twins who never met each other and it turns out they're from a different dimension and have magic and like it's up to them to save the world from "The Darkness", and they like have SUPER magic if the hold hands, and they are totally in their own dramas but they learn how to make room for each other and they meet their mother who they thought was dead, but they had been drawing pictures of her and the evil guy and Coventry, and... AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Sorry, that was a moment of insanity brought to you by Daddy. "Daddy -- always trying to be in tune with my children." That's my motto. But I know that it's only a matter of precious months before I become the Lamest Person On Earth. For now, I'm satisfied with the pure glee the kids get when I buy them Ice Breakers Liquid Ice, or new Lemon Zest Colgate toothpaste. I love to bring them joy. Unfortunately, soon that will only be possible when I pay for everything and stay the heck away from them and their friends. I know because I was once their age. It's inevitable. "It's nature's way." It sucks.
On that note, good night.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
River in Egypt
Da Nile (denial) ain't just a river in Egypt, I hear.
I've been so busy deep in my own shizzit I haven't updated for months. I've had several of my readers wondering why.
Well, the X developed a brain tumor and is still recovering. This put the kibash on her marriage, which means no extra income for moi, even though my monthly expenses have increased since my move to Wausau. I'm not dealing. No, not much at all.
Credit card is getting higher. Living pretty much hand to mouth on borrowed time -- and money.
Really pissed about how I'm being treated at work, so I'm seeking Wausau alternatives. That would be huge because I could then tap into my 401K to pay off the card. Plus I'd be working closer to home.
Good news? Plenty of it. Girls are great and healthy. I've spent a week at the new medical complex I helped (in an information systems way) bring together, and have made really positive contributions. Spending the day there tomorrow, too. Awesome stuff!
Am bowling on a league (don't laugh it's really fun), and am improving week to week. I think I may prefer bowling to golf. It's also cheaper.
Can't promise the frequency of future updates, because that seems to lead to long lapses.
I love you all, and hope you'll keep reading and posting.
-Teken
I've been so busy deep in my own shizzit I haven't updated for months. I've had several of my readers wondering why.
Well, the X developed a brain tumor and is still recovering. This put the kibash on her marriage, which means no extra income for moi, even though my monthly expenses have increased since my move to Wausau. I'm not dealing. No, not much at all.
Credit card is getting higher. Living pretty much hand to mouth on borrowed time -- and money.
Really pissed about how I'm being treated at work, so I'm seeking Wausau alternatives. That would be huge because I could then tap into my 401K to pay off the card. Plus I'd be working closer to home.
Good news? Plenty of it. Girls are great and healthy. I've spent a week at the new medical complex I helped (in an information systems way) bring together, and have made really positive contributions. Spending the day there tomorrow, too. Awesome stuff!
Am bowling on a league (don't laugh it's really fun), and am improving week to week. I think I may prefer bowling to golf. It's also cheaper.
Can't promise the frequency of future updates, because that seems to lead to long lapses.
I love you all, and hope you'll keep reading and posting.
-Teken
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Did the Lake
OH! By the way, when we swam at Sunny Vale on Sunday, 94, 97, and I all crossed the lake and played on the other side. For three hours. We were very well sun screened though, so no burns! Wow, how great to float, relax, splash, and just play with the girls!
Post-o-riffic
- Way to go shuttle crew! Wish you well on the last space walk.
- Most of my coworkers suck festering wounds.
- Apple is selling a multi-button mouse. Wooo.
- A bunch of Americans were killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq today.
- Those Air France passengers all survived yesterday. Thank God.
- Sam's Club is offering a 1GB flash drive for real cheap. 'Bout time.
- I haven't seen a significant thunderstorm this year. CRAP!
- Brewers lost yesterday in an extra innings, bases loaded WALK.
Keep on sucking, brew crew.
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Never Posting Again
In order to get myself to post here more, I'm declaring that I'll never post again. Never, never, never!!
There, that should do it!
There, that should do it!
No Marriage = Me Bankrupt
Apparently the marriage of my X has been delayed. Have you ever felt plastic melt in your hands? I am in debt up to my nether regions. Was counting on the extra money (read spousal support) when I moved. Everything I buy, everything I owe, is now going on my credit card. My life is plastic. And it's melting... MELLLLLLLTIIIIIIING!!!
This is Teken on the brink. Life's way too short to worry alot about something as ridiculous as money, but I'm starting to sweat a bit.
X is doing well. The brain growth is shrinking now after the gamma knife. Thank God for the gamma knife. However, she's not getting married on August 5. I understand, but I am very worried. I moved to be closer to the girls and give them a place to live with me that was actually, well, livable. It costs me $275 more a month. It also means going from a walking commute, to a 40 minute car commute which costs me about $240 a month in gas.
I am fully moved, though.
Things at work have gotten interesting. Crack down on wireless internet usage. Crack down on how we log our hours. When I started at MC, my boss said, and I quote, "when I log my hours, I just basically guess. You can do the same.". Well, that's changed.
Kids are great. Today we went to "Sky High". Good movie. Very reminiscent of Harry Potter, but funny. I'd recommend it.
Later!
This is Teken on the brink. Life's way too short to worry alot about something as ridiculous as money, but I'm starting to sweat a bit.
X is doing well. The brain growth is shrinking now after the gamma knife. Thank God for the gamma knife. However, she's not getting married on August 5. I understand, but I am very worried. I moved to be closer to the girls and give them a place to live with me that was actually, well, livable. It costs me $275 more a month. It also means going from a walking commute, to a 40 minute car commute which costs me about $240 a month in gas.
I am fully moved, though.
Things at work have gotten interesting. Crack down on wireless internet usage. Crack down on how we log our hours. When I started at MC, my boss said, and I quote, "when I log my hours, I just basically guess. You can do the same.". Well, that's changed.
Kids are great. Today we went to "Sky High". Good movie. Very reminiscent of Harry Potter, but funny. I'd recommend it.
Later!
Saturday, July 09, 2005
How 'bout a TEKEN Packers License Plate?
To the World: Cherry, you inspire me. Thanks alot. What a fucking burden. Again, thanks.
};)
Okay, so, for the most important question of the day: should I spend 40 bucks for a vanity Green Bay Packers license plate for the hoopty that reads TEKEN? Huh? Should I? Must I? Oh, I think so. But please, I so love your feedback.
The Teken proginy and I spent five hours swimming at Sunnyvale Park this afternoon. What a blast! Thank you, God, for: 1) Sunscreen, and 2) Banana Boat After Sun. Got my atomic-white skin so burnt last weekend that I needed both this weekend.
No word from X today. Thank you God.
I am way into country music this year. Never thought I'd be there. Never. My current favs are:
Rascal Flats "Fast Cars and Freedom"
"Billy's Got His Beer Goggles On"
"Keg in the Closet"
"That's What I Love About Sundays"
"Hick Town"
...song with lyrics including "you get a line, I'll get a pole, we'll go fishin' at the crawfish hole. Five card poker on Saturday night, church on Sunday mornin'."
Rascal Flatts lead singer sounds like a girl. Ask the fruit of my loins.
};)
Okay, so, for the most important question of the day: should I spend 40 bucks for a vanity Green Bay Packers license plate for the hoopty that reads TEKEN? Huh? Should I? Must I? Oh, I think so. But please, I so love your feedback.
The Teken proginy and I spent five hours swimming at Sunnyvale Park this afternoon. What a blast! Thank you, God, for: 1) Sunscreen, and 2) Banana Boat After Sun. Got my atomic-white skin so burnt last weekend that I needed both this weekend.
No word from X today. Thank you God.
I am way into country music this year. Never thought I'd be there. Never. My current favs are:
Rascal Flats "Fast Cars and Freedom"
"Billy's Got His Beer Goggles On"
"Keg in the Closet"
"That's What I Love About Sundays"
"Hick Town"
...song with lyrics including "you get a line, I'll get a pole, we'll go fishin' at the crawfish hole. Five card poker on Saturday night, church on Sunday mornin'."
Rascal Flatts lead singer sounds like a girl. Ask the fruit of my loins.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Teken Under Siege
Psycho Xs suck. When X dropped off the kids tonight she claimed she "needed to talk to me this weekend". Fuck. That was never good when we were married, and it's not good now. Thinking she had some bone to pick with me, I offered to walk her to her car. Turns out her new beau blew her off for dinner tonight.
For the love of God.
She just found out she has a brain tumor (benign and treatable without carving her skull). And this guy is choosing to bail tonight... FUCK!
She asked my opinion, and I kept it mellow. For every response I was greeted with some rant punctuated with the obligatory "F" explative. In my quiet neighborhood. Shouted at the top of X's lungs. Hi! Nice to meet you, neighbor!
True, he's being a jerk. True, I'd just as soon deck him as look at him after this stunt. Also true though that he might just need a little break from the cling. I just wish he'd exhibit better judgement when establishing boundries. Bad on you, dude.
NEwhoo, it's her problem. And his. (shit, and mine too if they don't marry)
Just glad the X's tumor is getting the gamma knife instead of surgery. Just wish she'd chill and realize that people need to feel a certain amount of freedom, and expect a certain amount of respect. Just wish new beaus could either stick their heads far enough up their ass to see through an open mouth, or just plain see the pain they cause their partner.
Okay, that last sentence is completely stupid, but you get the idea.
Seems so insignificant given what's going on in London and Cuba.
For the love of God.
She just found out she has a brain tumor (benign and treatable without carving her skull). And this guy is choosing to bail tonight... FUCK!
She asked my opinion, and I kept it mellow. For every response I was greeted with some rant punctuated with the obligatory "F" explative. In my quiet neighborhood. Shouted at the top of X's lungs. Hi! Nice to meet you, neighbor!
True, he's being a jerk. True, I'd just as soon deck him as look at him after this stunt. Also true though that he might just need a little break from the cling. I just wish he'd exhibit better judgement when establishing boundries. Bad on you, dude.
NEwhoo, it's her problem. And his. (shit, and mine too if they don't marry)
Just glad the X's tumor is getting the gamma knife instead of surgery. Just wish she'd chill and realize that people need to feel a certain amount of freedom, and expect a certain amount of respect. Just wish new beaus could either stick their heads far enough up their ass to see through an open mouth, or just plain see the pain they cause their partner.
Okay, that last sentence is completely stupid, but you get the idea.
Seems so insignificant given what's going on in London and Cuba.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Yipes!
Really busy right now. More bullet points:
- X has a brain tumor, no, not kidding, it's benign, kids are a bit stressed but doing okay
- I'm moved (more or less)
- Love my new place
- Need advice, want to buy a domain, what do you think: machopoodle.com, threwupalittle.com, any other suggestions?
Hate making these posts so infrequent and sparse, but the sheezit is really hitting the fan right now. Could use all y'all's prayers. Please.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Yes, yes, I know...
Bad Machopoodle, BAD!!
You're catching me in the middle of moving. Keeping my job in Marshfield, but moving 40 minutes northeast to Wausau, Wisconsin. Renting a 3-bedroom townhouse to be closer to the kids. Really nice, the girls get their own rooms. Attached garage for my hooptie. Deck. Washer and dryer. 1.5 baths. Thank you God!
Unfortunately, I have to surrender my cats. Kids aren't happy, but they have two of their own to play with. No worries, 'cause they're going back to kitty city, which is a no-kill shelter, and they're bound to find new homes soon.
Preparations today and Friday, major move on Saturday. I'll have to the end of June to move the little stuff.
X will wed in August, which means a big jump in my income. I'm taking a bet, though, because if it falls apart, I'm financially screwed. Say a prayer for the happy couple if you have a minute.
Looked after all five kids (John's three and my two) at a dairy breakfast this last weekend. Yum. Heard later that John's kids thought 94 and 97 have a cool dad. (me brimming with pride).
Later! Hopefully not much later, though...
You're catching me in the middle of moving. Keeping my job in Marshfield, but moving 40 minutes northeast to Wausau, Wisconsin. Renting a 3-bedroom townhouse to be closer to the kids. Really nice, the girls get their own rooms. Attached garage for my hooptie. Deck. Washer and dryer. 1.5 baths. Thank you God!
Unfortunately, I have to surrender my cats. Kids aren't happy, but they have two of their own to play with. No worries, 'cause they're going back to kitty city, which is a no-kill shelter, and they're bound to find new homes soon.
Preparations today and Friday, major move on Saturday. I'll have to the end of June to move the little stuff.
X will wed in August, which means a big jump in my income. I'm taking a bet, though, because if it falls apart, I'm financially screwed. Say a prayer for the happy couple if you have a minute.
Looked after all five kids (John's three and my two) at a dairy breakfast this last weekend. Yum. Heard later that John's kids thought 94 and 97 have a cool dad. (me brimming with pride).
Later! Hopefully not much later, though...
Thursday, June 02, 2005
CHANGE!
Still here. Bullet points, more elaboration to come:
- X is getting remarried in August (more $, yay!)
- I'm moving to Wausau
- Kids are doing well
- Last day of school for Girls is 6/8
- Work is exciting
- Spent Labor Day weekend with family (races, Lambeau, Star Wars)
Much love.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Um... Hi...
Friday, May 06, 2005
Daddy: Why?!
Picked up the girls today, and, brain-fart dad that I am, I forgot that tonight was the annual Spring Dance at the elementary school. So Val said "We're getting ready for the Dance!". I said "No, we're not going", and Val was all "buuuuut Daaaaaady (sniffle, snort) YOU PROOOOOOMISED!!! So, of course, I said "sure we'll go!"
It was fun. Playing at the school park before hand, then going in to dance, eat cheesy popcorn and pretzels. Doing the hoola-hoop and the limbo. Absolute magic.
Then we drove back to Marshfield and watched part of "A Series of Unfortunate Events". Now it's bed time. Good night.
It was fun. Playing at the school park before hand, then going in to dance, eat cheesy popcorn and pretzels. Doing the hoola-hoop and the limbo. Absolute magic.
Then we drove back to Marshfield and watched part of "A Series of Unfortunate Events". Now it's bed time. Good night.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Partners in Crime
It was Sunday, a day like any other. Except that it was Emma's second communion, we got to sit (and sing) with the Choir, and make trouble at work.
We went over to my building, which is exactly 1 minute and 57 second's walk from my modest apartment (according to Val's stop watch) and I did some lame work stuff. The girls -- that's right, THEY -- got the idea to pull a few pranks. I love them so!!
First, Joe's orange became his new pencil/pen holder. Bwa ha haaaa! Then we pulled Lisa's mouse cord out of the back of her PC.
Both pranks were emminently successful.
When the girls get married I won't be losing my daughters, but my partners in crime.
We went over to my building, which is exactly 1 minute and 57 second's walk from my modest apartment (according to Val's stop watch) and I did some lame work stuff. The girls -- that's right, THEY -- got the idea to pull a few pranks. I love them so!!
First, Joe's orange became his new pencil/pen holder. Bwa ha haaaa! Then we pulled Lisa's mouse cord out of the back of her PC.
Both pranks were emminently successful.
When the girls get married I won't be losing my daughters, but my partners in crime.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Hostage Web Site Apathy
Right. So I found out that web users trying to check out their appointments, going to the clinic web site could be redirected to a vagabond web site if they forgot to put a period between "my" and "(the name of our site)". I brought this to the attention of our support team, and they were all like "who cares". Well, shit, I do, since I discovered it.
The bogus website misleads users into thinking they're at our site. My suggestion was "let's buy the domain".
The response from the "support" team was"that users need to learn to type the right URL"! Not cool. This is an easy mistake for our customers to make. Then the "support" team gave me all sorts of hell over my suggestion.
I love every member of the "support" team dearly. Even now.
Turns out to be a known issue. I placed a bet with the team that this would result in us buying the domain.
I know I'm right... I hope.
Oh, BTW, Bo Bice will SOOO win Idol.
The bogus website misleads users into thinking they're at our site. My suggestion was "let's buy the domain".
The response from the "support" team was"that users need to learn to type the right URL"! Not cool. This is an easy mistake for our customers to make. Then the "support" team gave me all sorts of hell over my suggestion.
I love every member of the "support" team dearly. Even now.
Turns out to be a known issue. I placed a bet with the team that this would result in us buying the domain.
I know I'm right... I hope.
Oh, BTW, Bo Bice will SOOO win Idol.
Droppin' PLATES
Tania, a coworker, left early yesterday, so I had to play a trick on her. Mandatory!
She had a stack of bright red plastic plates in her drawer. I spread them out over her desk, like a tea party. Even tacked one to her wall. Her roomy thought it would be good to put water in each plate, but I resisted. She didn't see them until today. I also spread her Carmex on the space bar of her keyboard. This is what computer geeks do. What can I say. Oh, I also opened her ubrella and put it on her desk.
Anywhooo, her reaction to the plates was awesome. She was like "Singing In The Rain". She tried to tell me that the Carmex ruined her keyboard. Nice try.
Today I put lip balm on Joe's planner. Let's wait to see what happens there...
She had a stack of bright red plastic plates in her drawer. I spread them out over her desk, like a tea party. Even tacked one to her wall. Her roomy thought it would be good to put water in each plate, but I resisted. She didn't see them until today. I also spread her Carmex on the space bar of her keyboard. This is what computer geeks do. What can I say. Oh, I also opened her ubrella and put it on her desk.
Anywhooo, her reaction to the plates was awesome. She was like "Singing In The Rain". She tried to tell me that the Carmex ruined her keyboard. Nice try.
Today I put lip balm on Joe's planner. Let's wait to see what happens there...
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Not about my life! Sort of...
Okay, a break from my autobiography.
It was Emma's first communion yesterday. I use the following word sparingly: She was precious. Hats off to X for dolling her up so well. And big Kudos to Emma for being so earnest and excited!
It was magical seeing her up their with the priest and all the other communicants.
Unfortunately, I was asked to bow-out of the after party, so I went straight home. But the time with the girls was awesome.
It was nice seeing Brian, Steve, and their wives again.
It was Emma's first communion yesterday. I use the following word sparingly: She was precious. Hats off to X for dolling her up so well. And big Kudos to Emma for being so earnest and excited!
It was magical seeing her up their with the priest and all the other communicants.
Unfortunately, I was asked to bow-out of the after party, so I went straight home. But the time with the girls was awesome.
It was nice seeing Brian, Steve, and their wives again.
Friday, April 22, 2005
My Life, Part 3
I'm not gonna get too deep into the divorce thing, but I'll detail the marriage.
X and I were married in 1989. We had a great courtship. She converted me to Catholicism, which I still practice today, so for that I'm in her debt. I had tried all sorts of Christian religions, but this one seemed true.
We lived in a Wisconsin Rapids apartment for a while until she got called away to be a K-Mart manager in Burlington. I was still in college, beginning my year-long internship (no pay, so I had to work a full-time job) in Oshkosh. That year was hell; a foaming, seething, inferno of pain. I would visit our apartment in Burlington on weekends.
After that year was over, I got a nursing home adminitrator job in Port Washington, so I spent a year commuting through Milwaukee traffic until we moved to Port Washington. Ironically, she then got a job in south Milwaukee, so she did the commuting.
We had a vacation to California to see her parents, and, before I left, I responded to an offer of employment in Mineral Point, Wisconsin. When we got back, I was refreshed, and there was a message on the machine that the Mineral Point nursing home people wanted to talk to me.
Got the job and moved to Dodgeville, Wisconsin. The job was good. I got really involved in the community and helped found the "Point Forward" committee, which I chaired. This group got Mineral Point into the Main Street program as the first small community in the nation. I was also the president of the local Kiwanis Club. X and I had 94 at Dodgeville Hospital in 1994.
Later, my Dad phoned and wondered if I wanted his job at Peabody Manor in Appleton, Wisconsin. Hell yeah! Got the job and moved back to Appleton. Our apartment in Dodgeville burned down a month after we left.
To be continuted...
X and I were married in 1989. We had a great courtship. She converted me to Catholicism, which I still practice today, so for that I'm in her debt. I had tried all sorts of Christian religions, but this one seemed true.
We lived in a Wisconsin Rapids apartment for a while until she got called away to be a K-Mart manager in Burlington. I was still in college, beginning my year-long internship (no pay, so I had to work a full-time job) in Oshkosh. That year was hell; a foaming, seething, inferno of pain. I would visit our apartment in Burlington on weekends.
After that year was over, I got a nursing home adminitrator job in Port Washington, so I spent a year commuting through Milwaukee traffic until we moved to Port Washington. Ironically, she then got a job in south Milwaukee, so she did the commuting.
We had a vacation to California to see her parents, and, before I left, I responded to an offer of employment in Mineral Point, Wisconsin. When we got back, I was refreshed, and there was a message on the machine that the Mineral Point nursing home people wanted to talk to me.
Got the job and moved to Dodgeville, Wisconsin. The job was good. I got really involved in the community and helped found the "Point Forward" committee, which I chaired. This group got Mineral Point into the Main Street program as the first small community in the nation. I was also the president of the local Kiwanis Club. X and I had 94 at Dodgeville Hospital in 1994.
Later, my Dad phoned and wondered if I wanted his job at Peabody Manor in Appleton, Wisconsin. Hell yeah! Got the job and moved back to Appleton. Our apartment in Dodgeville burned down a month after we left.
To be continuted...
Thursday, April 21, 2005
My Life Continued
Forgot to tell you that as a kid I was allergic to everything. Seriously: sunlight, mown grass, pets, chocolate, seafood. SEAFOOD! Convulsions, puking, the whole nine yards. I got shots twice a week to cure me. They worked! Oh, you know that test where they put a grid on your back and poke you with a needle containing allergens? Not when I was a kid. Instead of needles, I was cut for each allergen. I looked like a whipped slave when it was over.
Felt like one, too.
Anyway, after my shoplifting stage, I joined a local Drum and Bugle Corps. The Americanos. VIVA!! Spent money to tour the country sleeping on gym floors and marching in woolen uniforms in the hot, humid Wisconsin summers. Did it for four years. It was awesome!
Junior and senior high school were hell for me. Made most of my friends and girl friends in Drum Corps, so I caught alot of hell from peers in school for not belonging to any cliques.
I was asked to perform with two local symphony orchestras, though, and that led to an invitation to attend Lawrence University (in Appleton). Their conservatory is pretty renowned. I am a percussionist, and spent two years at Lawrence. It got way too political for me, though, so I quit. Sorry Mom and Dad, but I love music deeply in a personal way, so I couldn't do it just for the money. Who gives a crap what Bach and Beethoven did, and to hell with you if you think I'm going to do it that way.
So I went to a local two-year college and then to the University of Wisconsin, Eau Claire to earn my bachellor's degree in Health Care Administration. In total it took me 7 years to earn a bachellor's degree. Gulp.
I spent 13 years running nursing homes and got burnt out. OMG. Not a job you want, even at 70K plus a year.
I took a 50% pay cut to pursue my current career as a computer geek. The pay got better, but not by much. It ain't about the money -- trust me on this one.
I'll get into the whole marriage/divorce thing later.
Felt like one, too.
Anyway, after my shoplifting stage, I joined a local Drum and Bugle Corps. The Americanos. VIVA!! Spent money to tour the country sleeping on gym floors and marching in woolen uniforms in the hot, humid Wisconsin summers. Did it for four years. It was awesome!
Junior and senior high school were hell for me. Made most of my friends and girl friends in Drum Corps, so I caught alot of hell from peers in school for not belonging to any cliques.
I was asked to perform with two local symphony orchestras, though, and that led to an invitation to attend Lawrence University (in Appleton). Their conservatory is pretty renowned. I am a percussionist, and spent two years at Lawrence. It got way too political for me, though, so I quit. Sorry Mom and Dad, but I love music deeply in a personal way, so I couldn't do it just for the money. Who gives a crap what Bach and Beethoven did, and to hell with you if you think I'm going to do it that way.
So I went to a local two-year college and then to the University of Wisconsin, Eau Claire to earn my bachellor's degree in Health Care Administration. In total it took me 7 years to earn a bachellor's degree. Gulp.
I spent 13 years running nursing homes and got burnt out. OMG. Not a job you want, even at 70K plus a year.
I took a 50% pay cut to pursue my current career as a computer geek. The pay got better, but not by much. It ain't about the money -- trust me on this one.
I'll get into the whole marriage/divorce thing later.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
EXCUUUUUUSE, MEEEEEEEE!
(thank you Steve Martin)
Why am I being so reflective lately? Don't know. Deal with it!
I'll get back to posting about the offspring soon. Hope I'm not boring you.
By the way, they're both completely addicted to this blog, and want to know who this "Cherry person" is. Take it as a compliment, Cherry!!
Why am I being so reflective lately? Don't know. Deal with it!
I'll get back to posting about the offspring soon. Hope I'm not boring you.
By the way, they're both completely addicted to this blog, and want to know who this "Cherry person" is. Take it as a compliment, Cherry!!
My Life
Right. A weighty title for this entry, but I'll give you a sketch.
I was born a poor black child.
Alright, not really. I was born in Appleton, Wisconsin very premature. I'm told my grandfather Erwin took one look at me and exclaimed I wouldn't make it. He always used to give me dollar bills as I grew up, much to my parent's disdain. "He needs to learn the value of a dollar" said my dad.
I apparently had a penchant for trouble as a toddler. I remember standing in the window of our Wisconsin Court house yelling at our cross-street neighbor (an elderly man) "is anybody home Mr. Watson says says says...". He must have dreaded going to work each day, waiting for the inevitable wailing.
Though I don't remember, I guess I tried crawling up my dresser and tipped the whole thing over onto myself. I also allegedly loved to crawl under my crib and hook my feet into the springs, thus suspending myself.
Many a toddler day was spent with me in our Carroll Street home in my Doctor Denton PJs, sitting cross-legged in front of a heating vent. There are pictures, but I don't have them right now.
I was a latch-key kid, and, with my older sister Michelle, we spent many evenings alone. Dad with his nursing home, Mom working at the hospital as an LPN.
My elementary school friend and I thought it funny to let the air out of the tires of a car parked near the school. Now, we used thumb tacks to hold the air valves open. No harm ever came to the tires. Turns out the car belonged to the cheif of police in Appleton. Crap. It's the only time my Dad ever hit me in the face (open handed and he felt terrible). What was I thinking?
I found shoplifting as a hobby, and got caught twice: Once at Prange's and once at the local Park 'n Market. Ooops.
Growing older, I spent alot of time with my female cousins in Door County, at our "cabin". We had a coupla acres of land, and my cousins and I used to spend hours playing "Star Trek". I would alternately rescue the girls from intrepid alien threats. Made phasers out of makeup compacts, and communicators too.
I befriended two Door County boys along the way. We got into trouble. They kept a Jeep in an storage shed, and one day we decided to check it out. There was a gallon of fuel in a jug in the front seat. Of course the shed was totally dark, so we used a lighter to check out the contents of the jug. WHOOOOOOSH!! Apparently fuel is not very appreciative of an open flame.
Me and my Door County friends got into other trouble, smashing headlights on old derilect tractors and the like.
Here's the weird part: These same two boys vandelized our house in Door County, breaking anything breakable, and flooding the house by putting rocks in the sinks and starting the faucets. Still don't know what they were thinking.
Enough for now.
I was born a poor black child.
Alright, not really. I was born in Appleton, Wisconsin very premature. I'm told my grandfather Erwin took one look at me and exclaimed I wouldn't make it. He always used to give me dollar bills as I grew up, much to my parent's disdain. "He needs to learn the value of a dollar" said my dad.
I apparently had a penchant for trouble as a toddler. I remember standing in the window of our Wisconsin Court house yelling at our cross-street neighbor (an elderly man) "is anybody home Mr. Watson says says says...". He must have dreaded going to work each day, waiting for the inevitable wailing.
Though I don't remember, I guess I tried crawling up my dresser and tipped the whole thing over onto myself. I also allegedly loved to crawl under my crib and hook my feet into the springs, thus suspending myself.
Many a toddler day was spent with me in our Carroll Street home in my Doctor Denton PJs, sitting cross-legged in front of a heating vent. There are pictures, but I don't have them right now.
I was a latch-key kid, and, with my older sister Michelle, we spent many evenings alone. Dad with his nursing home, Mom working at the hospital as an LPN.
My elementary school friend and I thought it funny to let the air out of the tires of a car parked near the school. Now, we used thumb tacks to hold the air valves open. No harm ever came to the tires. Turns out the car belonged to the cheif of police in Appleton. Crap. It's the only time my Dad ever hit me in the face (open handed and he felt terrible). What was I thinking?
I found shoplifting as a hobby, and got caught twice: Once at Prange's and once at the local Park 'n Market. Ooops.
Growing older, I spent alot of time with my female cousins in Door County, at our "cabin". We had a coupla acres of land, and my cousins and I used to spend hours playing "Star Trek". I would alternately rescue the girls from intrepid alien threats. Made phasers out of makeup compacts, and communicators too.
I befriended two Door County boys along the way. We got into trouble. They kept a Jeep in an storage shed, and one day we decided to check it out. There was a gallon of fuel in a jug in the front seat. Of course the shed was totally dark, so we used a lighter to check out the contents of the jug. WHOOOOOOSH!! Apparently fuel is not very appreciative of an open flame.
Me and my Door County friends got into other trouble, smashing headlights on old derilect tractors and the like.
Here's the weird part: These same two boys vandelized our house in Door County, breaking anything breakable, and flooding the house by putting rocks in the sinks and starting the faucets. Still don't know what they were thinking.
Enough for now.
Monday, April 18, 2005
My Dad
Listening to Enya, thought I'd blog about my Dad.
He was a strong, stubborn man. He loved to have fun with everything in life. I think that's where I got it.
He died in December, 2001. Lung cancer, CHF, who knows. He lived his life in defiance of norms. Had his own motorcycle club back in the 1970's. Big Mabel Murphy Motorcycle Club. We used to party with the Devil's Advocates. Pig roasts, drag races, the whole nine yards.
Mom was always at his side, supporting the charmingly devious Murph. He loved to drink and smoke. As youngsters, my sister and I would ride from Appleton to Door County to our second home with Mom and Dad chain-smoking. We used to beg them to open the windows so we could breathe. I had athsma as a kid, and the parents used to wonder why I had an attack after an hour breathing cigarette smoke!
Dad grew up in a retirement home run by his Dad, and later grew up to become a nursing home administrator. I followed in his footsteps. 13 years running nursing homes, and eventually taking over the one he ran for 30-plus years. Got written up in the paper and everything. It was very cool.
After spending years at that home, with coffee cup always in hand, Dad got to see me run the place for five and a half years. He was so proud.
Then his health worsened. Secretly I wonder if my divorce did him in. He went in for a routine test and never recovered. I remember his last gaze into my eyes in that hospital bed. He looked like he wanted to go home. I'm glad it was fast for him even though I spent my first career running places like that to which he probably would have eventually gone.
Dad, you're still in my dreams, and that's a good thing. I know your watching my life. Sometimes you must wonder what the hell I'm doing. So do I. But you see the really good side of my life too. Thank you for having me. You created me, and I've had the miracle of seeing my own two girls born and begin to mature. None of that would have happened without you.
I Love You.
He was a strong, stubborn man. He loved to have fun with everything in life. I think that's where I got it.
He died in December, 2001. Lung cancer, CHF, who knows. He lived his life in defiance of norms. Had his own motorcycle club back in the 1970's. Big Mabel Murphy Motorcycle Club. We used to party with the Devil's Advocates. Pig roasts, drag races, the whole nine yards.
Mom was always at his side, supporting the charmingly devious Murph. He loved to drink and smoke. As youngsters, my sister and I would ride from Appleton to Door County to our second home with Mom and Dad chain-smoking. We used to beg them to open the windows so we could breathe. I had athsma as a kid, and the parents used to wonder why I had an attack after an hour breathing cigarette smoke!
Dad grew up in a retirement home run by his Dad, and later grew up to become a nursing home administrator. I followed in his footsteps. 13 years running nursing homes, and eventually taking over the one he ran for 30-plus years. Got written up in the paper and everything. It was very cool.
After spending years at that home, with coffee cup always in hand, Dad got to see me run the place for five and a half years. He was so proud.
Then his health worsened. Secretly I wonder if my divorce did him in. He went in for a routine test and never recovered. I remember his last gaze into my eyes in that hospital bed. He looked like he wanted to go home. I'm glad it was fast for him even though I spent my first career running places like that to which he probably would have eventually gone.
Dad, you're still in my dreams, and that's a good thing. I know your watching my life. Sometimes you must wonder what the hell I'm doing. So do I. But you see the really good side of my life too. Thank you for having me. You created me, and I've had the miracle of seeing my own two girls born and begin to mature. None of that would have happened without you.
I Love You.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Stupid Office Tricks... AGAIN
This is getting out of hand.
Joe screwed me up royally. Let me first say that Joe is a low-life scum-sucking junior analyst who seems to think he's better than me. He's right. In this ONE case. I hope he lives to suffer my wrath!!
So I'm in my office trying to work, and my computer freezes up. I can move my mouse freely, but none of my programs are responding. WTF!! So I implement the evil "finger of doom" (I turn the PC off forcibly). When it reboots, I get the same exact condition. Knowing this is impossible, I begin to think that the lack of Prozac is producing hallucinations; I get that tingly "it must be a dream" feeling until I realize that Joe has replaced my screen with a picture. Of course, a picture won't respond to mouse clicks, thus I think it's on the blink.
Okay, a good joke. Subtle yet effective. But nothing like what I have in store for him.
Later that day, when he was away, I turned up his phone ringer to "obnoxious", and called him. Annoyed everyone within a mile radius. No, that's not payback, it's just a reminder.
Bwaa Haa Haa!
Joe screwed me up royally. Let me first say that Joe is a low-life scum-sucking junior analyst who seems to think he's better than me. He's right. In this ONE case. I hope he lives to suffer my wrath!!
So I'm in my office trying to work, and my computer freezes up. I can move my mouse freely, but none of my programs are responding. WTF!! So I implement the evil "finger of doom" (I turn the PC off forcibly). When it reboots, I get the same exact condition. Knowing this is impossible, I begin to think that the lack of Prozac is producing hallucinations; I get that tingly "it must be a dream" feeling until I realize that Joe has replaced my screen with a picture. Of course, a picture won't respond to mouse clicks, thus I think it's on the blink.
Okay, a good joke. Subtle yet effective. But nothing like what I have in store for him.
Later that day, when he was away, I turned up his phone ringer to "obnoxious", and called him. Annoyed everyone within a mile radius. No, that's not payback, it's just a reminder.
Bwaa Haa Haa!
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Beat Beat Skip
I have an arythmia. My heart likes to do the "beat, beat, skip" routine. Saw my doctor yesterday, and she thinks it's the prozac. CRAP! I love the prozac. Alas, it's not meant to be.
So, we'll try celexa instead. I'll keep you posted.
Sunday the girls and I played at the zoo and park for the first time this year. What a blast! It's been a long winter here in Wisconsin, so getting outside was such a treat. We went back to my place and just vegged. The park was exhausting. Ms. Grizz (a black bear) and the prairie dogs and the lynxs and the ducks were in prime form. We got so thirsty, but the bubblers weren't on yet, so we had to stop by the Pick and Save to buy some water on the way home.
Hey, all you readers out there (both of you): COMMENT! PLEASE! Not that I really need you to. After all, what a pain, right? NOT!!
So, we'll try celexa instead. I'll keep you posted.
Sunday the girls and I played at the zoo and park for the first time this year. What a blast! It's been a long winter here in Wisconsin, so getting outside was such a treat. We went back to my place and just vegged. The park was exhausting. Ms. Grizz (a black bear) and the prairie dogs and the lynxs and the ducks were in prime form. We got so thirsty, but the bubblers weren't on yet, so we had to stop by the Pick and Save to buy some water on the way home.
Hey, all you readers out there (both of you): COMMENT! PLEASE! Not that I really need you to. After all, what a pain, right? NOT!!
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Little...Felt...GRAPES!!
On Saturday I volunteered at Emma's first communion retreat. I was really dreading it. The dread was monumentally misplaced. This was one of the most fulfilling experiences I've ever had. I could so totally be an elementary teacher!
So I pick up Emma at 8:30am. You read that right. For those of you who know me, that means leaving at 7:30am, which is simply a miracle. Why? Cause that means getting out of bed at 6:30am. I'm just getting good dreams at that hour.
Anyway, at 3:30am I wake up and drift briefly back into sleep. 6:30 is no prob.
I get there and deliver Emma to the choir room for practice at 9am. The volunteering doesn't begin until 9:30, so I go back out to my car and listen to music. And drink my orange juice. And amuzingly watch my pulse do "beat beat SKIP" in rhythm to Gwen Styphani. I'll post about that later.
After trying to find the right room to volunteer in, I happened across it. It was at the end of the cafeteria, by a small stage.
I then met another volunteer guy who looked remarkably like Tommy Thompson, and he thought I was in charge. Ha. I told him I was just as clue-less as he.
About 20 minutes later, there we were. My 4-person crew setting out burlap banners and felt decorations for our first class of about 19 7-year-olds. The first of six. The retreat was from 9:30 'till 3:00pm.
I took the role of instructor, quizzing and explaining to the communicants about the host with the cross in the middle, the chalace, the loaf of bread, and the grapes. Most of the kids were really in-tune with the whole symolism thing. They were mostly well-behaved, and wide-eyed. I have the whole "looking over the top of your glasses" thing down, so there was little disruption.
Here's the thing, though: There was so much prepared for these banners that the kids only needed to glue the felt to the banners. 90 kids times 10 felt grapes equals 900 felt grapes!! And 90 chalaces, etc.. Why can't the kids cut out they're own friggin' felt?! After all, we had 45 minutes with each class, most of which was spent not doing the activity! Grrrrr...
Ours was one of many classes including Cross-making, Bread-making, Heart-making, and others I've already forgotten. It was magic.
Ate lunch with Emma, and really bonded with her. I wish this could happen once a year.
So I pick up Emma at 8:30am. You read that right. For those of you who know me, that means leaving at 7:30am, which is simply a miracle. Why? Cause that means getting out of bed at 6:30am. I'm just getting good dreams at that hour.
Anyway, at 3:30am I wake up and drift briefly back into sleep. 6:30 is no prob.
I get there and deliver Emma to the choir room for practice at 9am. The volunteering doesn't begin until 9:30, so I go back out to my car and listen to music. And drink my orange juice. And amuzingly watch my pulse do "beat beat SKIP" in rhythm to Gwen Styphani. I'll post about that later.
After trying to find the right room to volunteer in, I happened across it. It was at the end of the cafeteria, by a small stage.
I then met another volunteer guy who looked remarkably like Tommy Thompson, and he thought I was in charge. Ha. I told him I was just as clue-less as he.
About 20 minutes later, there we were. My 4-person crew setting out burlap banners and felt decorations for our first class of about 19 7-year-olds. The first of six. The retreat was from 9:30 'till 3:00pm.
I took the role of instructor, quizzing and explaining to the communicants about the host with the cross in the middle, the chalace, the loaf of bread, and the grapes. Most of the kids were really in-tune with the whole symolism thing. They were mostly well-behaved, and wide-eyed. I have the whole "looking over the top of your glasses" thing down, so there was little disruption.
Here's the thing, though: There was so much prepared for these banners that the kids only needed to glue the felt to the banners. 90 kids times 10 felt grapes equals 900 felt grapes!! And 90 chalaces, etc.. Why can't the kids cut out they're own friggin' felt?! After all, we had 45 minutes with each class, most of which was spent not doing the activity! Grrrrr...
Ours was one of many classes including Cross-making, Bread-making, Heart-making, and others I've already forgotten. It was magic.
Ate lunch with Emma, and really bonded with her. I wish this could happen once a year.
Friday, April 08, 2005
Stupid Office Tricks Redux
Whew. I think I'm back. Cherry, thanks for the desire to see pictures! You can see them in my last post.
Okay, so I got back to work on Monday, and I just wanted to plant myself in the chair and catch up on my 300 or so emails. I go to get my water and a coworker says "Oh, back from celebrating your 50th birthday?!" I say "No, just a vacation." And I wonder what she's been smoking. Then I loiter around with various people, then finally get to MY OFFICE! MY OFFICE! Have you ever felt totally busted? I mean brought to rights. What I'm asking is, have you ever had a totally effective and somewhat elaborate practical joke played on you?
I did. My office door was covered with 50th birthday tissue and black balloons, along with streamers that read "Oh no, the big "50" five-oh". My office proper was bedecked with a shit load of the same. Nice.
Let me pause here and disclaim that I was born in 1964. Do the freakin' math.
Reading my emails, I see one from a coworker with a subject of "Happy Birthday!". Bastard.
I've had about 100 coworkers stop me in the hall or come in to my office to lament that I don't LOOK 50. When I explain to them that I'm not, they ask "then WHY the decor?". Because my vacation happened to fall over April Fool's Day. Oh. Hah hah hah hah hah.
Real freakin funny.
I got him back somewhat by circulating a picture of the Holy Father with his face on it with a bold caption underneath.
Tee Shirts seem appropriate.
Later.
Okay, so I got back to work on Monday, and I just wanted to plant myself in the chair and catch up on my 300 or so emails. I go to get my water and a coworker says "Oh, back from celebrating your 50th birthday?!" I say "No, just a vacation." And I wonder what she's been smoking. Then I loiter around with various people, then finally get to MY OFFICE! MY OFFICE! Have you ever felt totally busted? I mean brought to rights. What I'm asking is, have you ever had a totally effective and somewhat elaborate practical joke played on you?
I did. My office door was covered with 50th birthday tissue and black balloons, along with streamers that read "Oh no, the big "50" five-oh". My office proper was bedecked with a shit load of the same. Nice.
Let me pause here and disclaim that I was born in 1964. Do the freakin' math.
Reading my emails, I see one from a coworker with a subject of "Happy Birthday!". Bastard.
I've had about 100 coworkers stop me in the hall or come in to my office to lament that I don't LOOK 50. When I explain to them that I'm not, they ask "then WHY the decor?". Because my vacation happened to fall over April Fool's Day. Oh. Hah hah hah hah hah.
Real freakin funny.
I got him back somewhat by circulating a picture of the Holy Father with his face on it with a bold caption underneath.
Tee Shirts seem appropriate.
Later.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Saturday, April 02, 2005
I'm Baaack...
The week with the girls was awesome! I'm back, but only barely. I'll be uploading some pictures as soon as I recuperate 8-}
Slept (on and off) til noon today. How wonderful.
Holy Father, I love you and pray for you.
Slept (on and off) til noon today. How wonderful.
Holy Father, I love you and pray for you.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Wicked Twisted Priorities
Great. They're killing Terri, but a gator guy went on CNN this morning to reassure everyone that the gator caught yesterday will be fine. I'll bet they'll feed the gator, too.
I hope judge Greer lives to regret murdering Terri.
I hope judge Greer lives to regret murdering Terri.
Snuggling with Brett Favre...(!)
Next week is spring break for the kids, so we're gonna spend the week in Green Bay visiting Mom and Sis. Mom bought a night at the Tundra Lodge for us, and I may buy another. Tundra is a huge new waterpark/hotel. Maximum fun, total bliss factory!
Other than that, we'll prolly play and eat at Lambeau Field, and goof off at the mall. It will be a GREAT week.
Brett and Howdy are getting along very well. Howdy tolerates frequent "attacks" by Brett, always taking the submissive role. Can't figure that cat out -- he's three time's Brett's weight, but such a softy.
I find I have to close my door around 3am, though, because that's when Brett gets active.
This morning I started my coffee and snuck back to bed, at which point Brett had a major snuggle attack and had to curl up on my chest with his little nose about a millimeter from mine. I have dog breath in the morning, I'm surprised it didn't knock him out!
Other than that, we'll prolly play and eat at Lambeau Field, and goof off at the mall. It will be a GREAT week.
Brett and Howdy are getting along very well. Howdy tolerates frequent "attacks" by Brett, always taking the submissive role. Can't figure that cat out -- he's three time's Brett's weight, but such a softy.
I find I have to close my door around 3am, though, because that's when Brett gets active.
This morning I started my coffee and snuck back to bed, at which point Brett had a major snuggle attack and had to curl up on my chest with his little nose about a millimeter from mine. I have dog breath in the morning, I'm surprised it didn't knock him out!
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
HAH!
Did you hear the U.N.'s latest brilliant idea? Did you?! Now they want to tax the U.S. use of the internet to fund access to the third world. I''m not kidding.
Perfect! Let's ruin electronic commerce so that Somali's can surf porn on the net. And what better vessel than the U.N., that most venerable, unbesmerched All-Being that brought us the oil for food scandal! Sign me the frick up for that!!
Perfect! Let's ruin electronic commerce so that Somali's can surf porn on the net. And what better vessel than the U.N., that most venerable, unbesmerched All-Being that brought us the oil for food scandal! Sign me the frick up for that!!
Monday, March 21, 2005
Under My Skin
Brett (my new cat) is a real charmer. Definitely a lap cat and a cuddler. I love him to death, but MAN are his claws sharp!
He's a doctor too, apparently, because he ordered and performed a blood test on my left arm at 5am today. He was all cuddled in, and I turned over to zap the snooze, and "POKE", in went one of his weapons into my arm. I had to physically remove the claw.
There's that pain/pleasure connection again, I guess!
Howdy (my other cat) is doing better. They were both actually on my bed at the same time last night.
The girls are understandably in love with Brett, too. It's so nice to see them happy and excited.
He's a doctor too, apparently, because he ordered and performed a blood test on my left arm at 5am today. He was all cuddled in, and I turned over to zap the snooze, and "POKE", in went one of his weapons into my arm. I had to physically remove the claw.
There's that pain/pleasure connection again, I guess!
Howdy (my other cat) is doing better. They were both actually on my bed at the same time last night.
The girls are understandably in love with Brett, too. It's so nice to see them happy and excited.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Attitude
Got a new kitty today. Name's Brett. Only 8 month's old. My other cat, Howdy, is 2 years old. Both males... so who do you think is dominating so far? That would be Brett.
He's all black, including his whiskers and nose. He was abandoned by his former owner on the coldest winter day in Wisconsin. Owner's gonna go to court. Hope they never let her have another animal!
We went to Walmart and spent a small fortune on toys. It was worth it. What a cute and beautiful creature!
The kids are thrilled.
Howdy, however, is not. He adjusted well to Minerva, but has been growling and hissing at Brett. And Brett has been taunting Howdy, the older brother.
Will be interesting to see how this works out... I'll keep you posted.
He's all black, including his whiskers and nose. He was abandoned by his former owner on the coldest winter day in Wisconsin. Owner's gonna go to court. Hope they never let her have another animal!
We went to Walmart and spent a small fortune on toys. It was worth it. What a cute and beautiful creature!
The kids are thrilled.
Howdy, however, is not. He adjusted well to Minerva, but has been growling and hissing at Brett. And Brett has been taunting Howdy, the older brother.
Will be interesting to see how this works out... I'll keep you posted.
Friday, March 18, 2005
Angry Propellers
...Oh, I mean: Mad Props!
Some people who have excellent taste and morals have shown some appreciation for my stance on blog-blights like the one who attaked a friend of mine. Please know that I love you all, and that there are ways to really fuck up people who post hate on blogs. See Dooce for a great example.
I told the girls about Minerva today. 97, bless her heart and soul, cried. 94 was unphased, but concerned. Seeing her little sister in pain, 94 painted a picture in snow with her finger on the trunk of my Merc, of Minerva in Heaven as an "Astronaut Kitty" climbing the universe's biggest scratching post and looking down with peace on us. "She'll never feel any more pain, Emma!", she exclaimed. Dear Jesus, what have I done to deserve these moments of true love? Nothing. But I am so thankful.
We got 7,949 FEET of snow today, so the trip to Wausau to pick up the kids was a real treat. When I say "treat", I mean "root canal".
Please keep reading. I've got a whole brain full of this stuff.
Some people who have excellent taste and morals have shown some appreciation for my stance on blog-blights like the one who attaked a friend of mine. Please know that I love you all, and that there are ways to really fuck up people who post hate on blogs. See Dooce for a great example.
I told the girls about Minerva today. 97, bless her heart and soul, cried. 94 was unphased, but concerned. Seeing her little sister in pain, 94 painted a picture in snow with her finger on the trunk of my Merc, of Minerva in Heaven as an "Astronaut Kitty" climbing the universe's biggest scratching post and looking down with peace on us. "She'll never feel any more pain, Emma!", she exclaimed. Dear Jesus, what have I done to deserve these moments of true love? Nothing. But I am so thankful.
We got 7,949 FEET of snow today, so the trip to Wausau to pick up the kids was a real treat. When I say "treat", I mean "root canal".
Please keep reading. I've got a whole brain full of this stuff.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Promise, Not Threat
Girls (yes, you, 94 and 97!), you're room is a mess. I'm not cleaning it. I'll help with whatever you want, but I'm not going to do it for you.
If it doesn't get done this weekend I will begin describing the exact content of the mess here on Macho Poodle. Oh yes I will.
Much love,
-Dad
So far all my first round picks in NCAA basketball won! Hope the streak continues.
This weekend, the girls and I will go kitty shopping. That is, unless we get the 30 feet of snow they're predicting, in which case we'll cruise the net together at the various shelters. I have my heart set on a black male kitty. His name will be Brett. He will be my squishy.
Two words for you: Prozac rules.
Ordered NFS Underground from eBay yesterday. $10 including shipping. I've got the demo version and it rules. Can't wait to get it.
I can't watch Alias anymore. It's too stupid. Sorry Jennifer, but your breasts just aren't worth it. Must be the Prozac.
Breaking news: Men are different from Women! Know why? It's the Y chromosome.
I need wine.
If it doesn't get done this weekend I will begin describing the exact content of the mess here on Macho Poodle. Oh yes I will.
Much love,
-Dad
So far all my first round picks in NCAA basketball won! Hope the streak continues.
This weekend, the girls and I will go kitty shopping. That is, unless we get the 30 feet of snow they're predicting, in which case we'll cruise the net together at the various shelters. I have my heart set on a black male kitty. His name will be Brett. He will be my squishy.
Two words for you: Prozac rules.
Ordered NFS Underground from eBay yesterday. $10 including shipping. I've got the demo version and it rules. Can't wait to get it.
I can't watch Alias anymore. It's too stupid. Sorry Jennifer, but your breasts just aren't worth it. Must be the Prozac.
Breaking news: Men are different from Women! Know why? It's the Y chromosome.
I need wine.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Bring it
Sorry to preach to you all, but this is a sad day.
A blog has died today because of some wrech. Of course I won't mention the blog's owner because we're all just one step from making the horrifying decision to remove our blogs.
Horrifying? You fucking bet! What a loss. Whomever you are, you should be locked up. This is as much an assault as hitting someone from behind with a sucker punch. You're an insecure, over-compensating, pox on humanity.
Should ANYONE decide to invade my life in this way, I will use my superpowers as an influential information systems geek to ruin you. I will spare no money or time.
Be warned.
A blog has died today because of some wrech. Of course I won't mention the blog's owner because we're all just one step from making the horrifying decision to remove our blogs.
Horrifying? You fucking bet! What a loss. Whomever you are, you should be locked up. This is as much an assault as hitting someone from behind with a sucker punch. You're an insecure, over-compensating, pox on humanity.
Should ANYONE decide to invade my life in this way, I will use my superpowers as an influential information systems geek to ruin you. I will spare no money or time.
Be warned.
Stupid Office Tricks
What compells certain individuals to CUT THEIR FINGERNAILS at work?! With their office doors open! Maybe I'm just weird that way, but what other personal hygiene do you perform in your office with the door open? Hmmm... none I can think of.
-Snip-
-SNIP-
- S N I P -
I mean, do they pee in a corner? Where does the nail shrapnel land? Hell, why not do the tonails while you're at it! Then you can give yourself a sponge bath and brush your teeth in there; we'd all love to be subjected to that!!
Bo Bice will win American Idol.
Illinois will win the NCAA basketball championship.
-Snip-
-SNIP-
- S N I P -
I mean, do they pee in a corner? Where does the nail shrapnel land? Hell, why not do the tonails while you're at it! Then you can give yourself a sponge bath and brush your teeth in there; we'd all love to be subjected to that!!
Bo Bice will win American Idol.
Illinois will win the NCAA basketball championship.
Monday, March 14, 2005
Gunslingers
Brett Favre will be back for at least another season! Woooooooooooot!
This weather is pissing me off. 3 inches of snow Monday, and another inch or so today. I am so sick of clearing snow off my car and doing the penguin walk I could just poop. I've got one word for you:
This weather is pissing me off. 3 inches of snow Monday, and another inch or so today. I am so sick of clearing snow off my car and doing the penguin walk I could just poop. I've got one word for you:
SPRING
What is it with shooting judges lately? Sheeesh, that's really poor aim; they're missing the lawyers.Sunday, March 13, 2005
Memorial
Tonight I said farewell to a best friend. She was a confidant, a teacher, and an inspiration. Her contributions to my life were immeasurable. My love of her transcends our time together. The world has lost a wonderful creation, but God has gained a gentle, selfless soul.
I'll never forget you climbing up and rubbing my chin. I'll always remember how, even though you were 7 years old, you acted like a kitten. The quiet magic you exuded touched me in a dead place in my heart. I can't wait to see you again, if I am so blessed, in heaven.
I will always love you Minerva.
I'll never forget you climbing up and rubbing my chin. I'll always remember how, even though you were 7 years old, you acted like a kitten. The quiet magic you exuded touched me in a dead place in my heart. I can't wait to see you again, if I am so blessed, in heaven.
I will always love you Minerva.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Painted Daddy
Girls. Makeup. Man. A deadly combination.
I was gang-painted by my children tonight. My God it's aweful. Of course, because it's aweful the girls love it.
I just sat there taking it.
I'm either the world's biggest wimp, or a Saint. Only God knows.
(wimper)
I was gang-painted by my children tonight. My God it's aweful. Of course, because it's aweful the girls love it.
I just sat there taking it.
I'm either the world's biggest wimp, or a Saint. Only God knows.
(wimper)
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Less of Me
Saw the doc today. Lost 14 pounds in 5 weeks. She was impressed. I was relieved.
BP still too high, adding another med. Great. Could swell my legs up and make me not poop. Super.
Just in case you want to follow along, here's my diet:
BREAKFAST - Fruit and Oatmeal
LUNCH - Maybe some more fruit and oatmeal, maybe a Subway 6-inch sub
SUPPER - Grilled chicken breast and veggies, adult beverage(s)
Pretty disciplined, I know, but this is my losing weight phase, I can afford more calories once I'm at my goal.
BP still too high, adding another med. Great. Could swell my legs up and make me not poop. Super.
Just in case you want to follow along, here's my diet:
BREAKFAST - Fruit and Oatmeal
LUNCH - Maybe some more fruit and oatmeal, maybe a Subway 6-inch sub
SUPPER - Grilled chicken breast and veggies, adult beverage(s)
Pretty disciplined, I know, but this is my losing weight phase, I can afford more calories once I'm at my goal.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
MY EYEEEES!!!
For the last four months I've been trying to grow my hair out. Saturday morning I got fed up with the hassle, so I shaved it down to 3/8ths of an inch. Nirvana. I have attained the 7th shakra of follicular enlightenment. Wow. Yeah.
However, we had just gotten done watching Spongebob the Movie, so the girls kept reinacting a scene from the movie where the king takes off his crown and those around him start writhing in pain from the great glare of his baldness. "BALD, BALD!!!! OH MY EYEEEEEEEES!!!", and the like. They can be so cute... I think.
Sunday afternoon it was 45 degrees out and sunny, so the girls and I took a walk. What's that? It involves going outside and ambulating by foot for about 20 minutes. 45 sunny degrees felt like the middle of summer! And the walk, in addition to being healthy, was invigorating. Did you know that there are other buildings in Marshfield besides my apartment and my office building? It's true. They're all over the freaking place!!
Mr. Healthy here has been pretty good with his diet. Okay, can't stand third person. Anyway, I've been eating more veggies and fruits (cucumbers and clementines are my current favs), and very little red meat or fatty stuff. I'm already starting to see results. Wow, I think I may actually have a jaw. And my energy level is a bit better.
However, we had just gotten done watching Spongebob the Movie, so the girls kept reinacting a scene from the movie where the king takes off his crown and those around him start writhing in pain from the great glare of his baldness. "BALD, BALD!!!! OH MY EYEEEEEEEES!!!", and the like. They can be so cute... I think.
Sunday afternoon it was 45 degrees out and sunny, so the girls and I took a walk. What's that? It involves going outside and ambulating by foot for about 20 minutes. 45 sunny degrees felt like the middle of summer! And the walk, in addition to being healthy, was invigorating. Did you know that there are other buildings in Marshfield besides my apartment and my office building? It's true. They're all over the freaking place!!
Mr. Healthy here has been pretty good with his diet. Okay, can't stand third person. Anyway, I've been eating more veggies and fruits (cucumbers and clementines are my current favs), and very little red meat or fatty stuff. I'm already starting to see results. Wow, I think I may actually have a jaw. And my energy level is a bit better.
Monday, March 07, 2005
Evil Jelly Beans
Last Thursday I was innocently chewing on a few jelly beans when CRACK!! Felt like I had tried to chew a diamond. "What the hell is in these jelly beans?!", I thought. My three workmates, with whom I was meeting at the time, heard the crack. Turns out the only odd thing in the candy was the back of one of my molars. It had cracked off, exposing the filling and not much else. The filling is sharp.
Thought I could get by with the tooth as is. Didn't hurt, so I thought, "what the heck". Then, on Saturday the gum tissue around the broken molar got curious and started moving over and rubbing on the sharp filling. Ouch!, they said. Of course, my gums had no exit strategy, so they were trapped there, getting cut every time I chewed, yawned, swallowed, or talked.
So, today I decided that drastic measures were called for. I went to the dentist. The dentist scolded the gum tissue, but to no avail. This was going to be painful. Two doses of Novacaine later (injected using one of those kid doctor syringes), there went the dentist, drilling down into my toes. He put on a temporary filling that looks like a piece of chewing gum. "That's only temporary", says the dentist. NO SHIT, ya think?!, I thought. All I said is "uh huh".
"You'll need a root canal and crown on that tooth", gushed the dentist. It's all a friggin' conspiracy. They drill most of your tooth away when they fill it, then 30 years later it breaks and you have to take out a loan to go through hell. Isn't that a Homeland Security violation of some sort?
Thought I could get by with the tooth as is. Didn't hurt, so I thought, "what the heck". Then, on Saturday the gum tissue around the broken molar got curious and started moving over and rubbing on the sharp filling. Ouch!, they said. Of course, my gums had no exit strategy, so they were trapped there, getting cut every time I chewed, yawned, swallowed, or talked.
So, today I decided that drastic measures were called for. I went to the dentist. The dentist scolded the gum tissue, but to no avail. This was going to be painful. Two doses of Novacaine later (injected using one of those kid doctor syringes), there went the dentist, drilling down into my toes. He put on a temporary filling that looks like a piece of chewing gum. "That's only temporary", says the dentist. NO SHIT, ya think?!, I thought. All I said is "uh huh".
"You'll need a root canal and crown on that tooth", gushed the dentist. It's all a friggin' conspiracy. They drill most of your tooth away when they fill it, then 30 years later it breaks and you have to take out a loan to go through hell. Isn't that a Homeland Security violation of some sort?
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Feel the Love
Tonight's bedtime ritual:
97: "Love you, Dad!"
94: "Love you, Dad!"
Me: "Love you Emma, Love you Valerie!"
97: "Love you, red pillow!"
94: "What the..."
Me: "She loves her red pillow. I love you too, red pillow!"
94: "Oh, okay, whatever, you pillow people."
Me: "Love you guys, goodnight!"
Fiction would not be that cute.
97: "Love you, Dad!"
94: "Love you, Dad!"
Me: "Love you Emma, Love you Valerie!"
97: "Love you, red pillow!"
94: "What the..."
Me: "She loves her red pillow. I love you too, red pillow!"
94: "Oh, okay, whatever, you pillow people."
Me: "Love you guys, goodnight!"
Fiction would not be that cute.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Rantasia
DISCLAIMER: The following is a mild rant. Prolonged exposure, including conentrating and inhaling vapors may be harmful or fatal.
I spent $500 on a video card. FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS, PEOPLE!! Now, that alone probably makes me appear to be an impulsive geek, but alot of research went into selecting this thing.
For FIVE HUNDRED FU&$ING DOLLARS, you'd think it could play nice with my other hardware. BUT NOOOOOOOOO! Like some sort of digital prima donna, the card had plopped its fat, spoiled ass down right on my firewire resources. And it won't budge. And I'm getting no help. And I'm pissed. I am very tempted to return this temperamental resource hog, but it produces amazing graphics.
They've got me.
So, I ordered a new firewire card in hopes that it will placate this self-proclaimed master of my PC. If not, back the video card goes.
### END RANT ###
I spent $500 on a video card. FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS, PEOPLE!! Now, that alone probably makes me appear to be an impulsive geek, but alot of research went into selecting this thing.
For FIVE HUNDRED FU&$ING DOLLARS, you'd think it could play nice with my other hardware. BUT NOOOOOOOOO! Like some sort of digital prima donna, the card had plopped its fat, spoiled ass down right on my firewire resources. And it won't budge. And I'm getting no help. And I'm pissed. I am very tempted to return this temperamental resource hog, but it produces amazing graphics.
They've got me.
So, I ordered a new firewire card in hopes that it will placate this self-proclaimed master of my PC. If not, back the video card goes.
### END RANT ###
Monday, February 21, 2005
PEEEEEEEKABOOOOOOOOOO!
Alright, fine. I haven't posted in a week. I'm still here. I just had to get something out of my system.
94 turned 11 last week, and her birthday party was yesterday at the local skating place. It was heart-achingly fascinating watching how independent she is. She's so thoughtful and vibrant. She has so many friends. Wow.
97 was alot of fun at the skating place. She loves the camera, and I spent an hour taping the party. OH! And she lost another tooth! Tooth Fairy came through again. Seems a buck isn't what it used to be, though, as I detected a vailed complaint about how the paultry sum must have been because "it was just a small bottom tooth". Hmmm...
94 turned 11 last week, and her birthday party was yesterday at the local skating place. It was heart-achingly fascinating watching how independent she is. She's so thoughtful and vibrant. She has so many friends. Wow.
97 was alot of fun at the skating place. She loves the camera, and I spent an hour taping the party. OH! And she lost another tooth! Tooth Fairy came through again. Seems a buck isn't what it used to be, though, as I detected a vailed complaint about how the paultry sum must have been because "it was just a small bottom tooth". Hmmm...
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Zitboy
Ah, the weekend. Time to relax. Unwind. Time to sprout odd facial deformities. Huh?
I awoke Saturday to twin zits on the corner of my mouth. I'm 41 years old for Christ's sake! I've got my kids calling me "Zitboy" now. Ankle-biting ingrates.
Oh, and this low-fat, high-fiber crap is really a pox on my happiness. Bacon is a tradition on weekend mornings around here, and I had a total of three pieces. Three in two days. Do you know how good a sausage egg and cheese biscuit would taste for breakfast tomorrow? Do you?!
We had Papa Murphy's pizza for supper last night, though. Talk about a heavenly indulgence! It was magic. The smell alone, however, raised my triglys by 100 or so points (or whatever measurement system they use).
Good weekend altogether, though. 94 is camping at the school forest Monday through Wednesday, and she is just jazzed. We drove by the camp so she could see the buildings. We played "school forest trivia" all the way home.
Saturday, 97 went to a birthday party, so I had cherised 94/Dad time!! We malled and got 94 a disposable camera for camping. It was fun.
Today's mass was lead by two missionaries. It was quite good. The choir was awesome. First time I've heard them and I've been attending for two years. Got me thinking about joining, but that would mean choiring instead of being with the kids. Hmmm... What do you think?
I awoke Saturday to twin zits on the corner of my mouth. I'm 41 years old for Christ's sake! I've got my kids calling me "Zitboy" now. Ankle-biting ingrates.
Oh, and this low-fat, high-fiber crap is really a pox on my happiness. Bacon is a tradition on weekend mornings around here, and I had a total of three pieces. Three in two days. Do you know how good a sausage egg and cheese biscuit would taste for breakfast tomorrow? Do you?!
We had Papa Murphy's pizza for supper last night, though. Talk about a heavenly indulgence! It was magic. The smell alone, however, raised my triglys by 100 or so points (or whatever measurement system they use).
Good weekend altogether, though. 94 is camping at the school forest Monday through Wednesday, and she is just jazzed. We drove by the camp so she could see the buildings. We played "school forest trivia" all the way home.
Saturday, 97 went to a birthday party, so I had cherised 94/Dad time!! We malled and got 94 a disposable camera for camping. It was fun.
Today's mass was lead by two missionaries. It was quite good. The choir was awesome. First time I've heard them and I've been attending for two years. Got me thinking about joining, but that would mean choiring instead of being with the kids. Hmmm... What do you think?
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Motor Excess
If the world were just, I would be skinny. Of course, I've always thought that, but now I have scientific proof.
I've been a percussionist since 6th grade. I did 4 years in drum corps, played professionally in two orchestras, and attended a prestigious conservatory. This means that, in my daily life, I am constantly, incessantly drumming. On my legs, steering wheel, keyboard tray, whatever. I even keep drum sticks at work. It annoys the hell out of just about anybody with whom I become comfortable enough to do it (everyone). Except other drummers, who seem compelled to join in, and we jam.
Also, my legs quite often piston up and down on their own, unbeknownst to me until someone shoots ocular arrows at me or whacks my leg, or both. Hey, gotta keep the calf muscles toned for the bass drum and hi-hat!
Finally, I'm always chewing gum. My temporal/mandibular muscles are huge.
Now, according to the Post article I should be a lean, mean, annoying machine. So why am I fat, fat, fat? I mean, how could a few double quarter pounders with cheese, a six pack, and a completely sedentary job POSSIBLY compete with my superior fidgeticity? It's wrong, I tell you!
There's gotta be someone I can sue.
I've been a percussionist since 6th grade. I did 4 years in drum corps, played professionally in two orchestras, and attended a prestigious conservatory. This means that, in my daily life, I am constantly, incessantly drumming. On my legs, steering wheel, keyboard tray, whatever. I even keep drum sticks at work. It annoys the hell out of just about anybody with whom I become comfortable enough to do it (everyone). Except other drummers, who seem compelled to join in, and we jam.
Also, my legs quite often piston up and down on their own, unbeknownst to me until someone shoots ocular arrows at me or whacks my leg, or both. Hey, gotta keep the calf muscles toned for the bass drum and hi-hat!
Finally, I'm always chewing gum. My temporal/mandibular muscles are huge.
Now, according to the Post article I should be a lean, mean, annoying machine. So why am I fat, fat, fat? I mean, how could a few double quarter pounders with cheese, a six pack, and a completely sedentary job POSSIBLY compete with my superior fidgeticity? It's wrong, I tell you!
There's gotta be someone I can sue.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Worms for Bear
Very early yesterday morning, after a sleepless night, I had a very odd-but-vivid dream. Executive summary:
1) Installing big scanner at Weston clinic
2) Nowhere to put it
3) Amish patients in waiting rooms, amongst continued construction
4) Huge safety problems
5) Frustration reporting number 4 above
6) Scene transition to Lake Winnebago
7) Altercation with bear during another scene transition to a mall
8) Bear and I communicate
9) Bear wants worms
10) I get bear worms and then I wake up
Welcome to my subconscious mind. What would
1) Installing big scanner at Weston clinic
2) Nowhere to put it
3) Amish patients in waiting rooms, amongst continued construction
4) Huge safety problems
5) Frustration reporting number 4 above
6) Scene transition to Lake Winnebago
7) Altercation with bear during another scene transition to a mall
8) Bear and I communicate
9) Bear wants worms
10) I get bear worms and then I wake up
Welcome to my subconscious mind. What would
Friday, February 04, 2005
The Well Seasoned Cow
The last couple of evenings have been joyously vegitative. Or perhaps carnivorous, since I've been feasting on beef tenderloins for supper with a smooth Merlot.
Yes, Festival had a sale on near-expiration tenderloins again. I couldn't resist. Nature's Seasonings is the best stuff. For those of you who don't know, Nature's Seasons is a blend of salt, pepper, and garlic predominantly. Steak made with a generous sprinkling of the stuff (on both sides) tastes like, well, home.
What did I learn on the Apprentice yesterday? That goofy, guitar-playing hippies get fired early. I also learned that I watch the show to see these addle-brained half-wits stumble and bumble along. I find the back-biting rather intriguing too, in a "driving slowly by the accident scene" kind of way.
Yes, Festival had a sale on near-expiration tenderloins again. I couldn't resist. Nature's Seasonings is the best stuff. For those of you who don't know, Nature's Seasons is a blend of salt, pepper, and garlic predominantly. Steak made with a generous sprinkling of the stuff (on both sides) tastes like, well, home.
What did I learn on the Apprentice yesterday? That goofy, guitar-playing hippies get fired early. I also learned that I watch the show to see these addle-brained half-wits stumble and bumble along. I find the back-biting rather intriguing too, in a "driving slowly by the accident scene" kind of way.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Sleep With One Eye Open
I've had high blood pressure since I was 17. No one is sure why. I was fit and healthy otherwise, go figure.
Today was my annual physical. We had a long talk about my risk factors, lab tests, and all that other mumbo-jumbo. I find it acutely humbling to sit in a 4x6' exam room talking about these things, waiting for the obligatory lecture about diet and exercise.
However, there's reason for joy and celebration: Today was my first prostate check! WOOOOOOOOOT!! What a freakin' slice of juicy fresh heaven that was! If I didn't know better, I'd expect to meet my doctor going back to prison after work release. Well, I'm her bee-ahtch now, oh boy!
Doc changed my hypertension meds again because my pressure was 150/100. Given my erratic and inexplicable history, it's like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, though.
I also got religion about my lipids. I won't bore you, but Doc says when they were doing my blood work they noticed fat cells shaped suspiciously like a certain set of "Golden Arches" floating by. Not good. I shall learn to like oat meal and Cheerios. Alot. And I shall shun tastiness. Who needs comfort foods anyway? Yeah, I'll be like a one-man parade of prandial purity (sorry, didn't mean to spit).
Who am I kidding?
Today was my annual physical. We had a long talk about my risk factors, lab tests, and all that other mumbo-jumbo. I find it acutely humbling to sit in a 4x6' exam room talking about these things, waiting for the obligatory lecture about diet and exercise.
However, there's reason for joy and celebration: Today was my first prostate check! WOOOOOOOOOT!! What a freakin' slice of juicy fresh heaven that was! If I didn't know better, I'd expect to meet my doctor going back to prison after work release. Well, I'm her bee-ahtch now, oh boy!
Doc changed my hypertension meds again because my pressure was 150/100. Given my erratic and inexplicable history, it's like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, though.
I also got religion about my lipids. I won't bore you, but Doc says when they were doing my blood work they noticed fat cells shaped suspiciously like a certain set of "Golden Arches" floating by. Not good. I shall learn to like oat meal and Cheerios. Alot. And I shall shun tastiness. Who needs comfort foods anyway? Yeah, I'll be like a one-man parade of prandial purity (sorry, didn't mean to spit).
Who am I kidding?
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Bumsen!
I was plagued with peeves during my 500 foot trip back home. Now, that's pretty incredible for such a wee walk.
Peeve 1: Snow removal. The apartment parking lot and sidewalk are variably covered with snow and ice. This makes walking more of an adventure, sure, but I don't EVER feel particularly adventurous at night after a long day ofsurfing the net work. EVER.
Peeve 2: Note for FEDEX. I carefully posted a note for the FedEx guy to deliver a package I was expecting to my neighbor. It was grammatically correct and contained no profanity (unless you skipped every other letter, hee hee). When I went in the front door it was gone. I almost posted another note saying "Leave my notes the FUCK alone!", but I'm a coward. Grrrrr.
Peeve 3: State tax refund. It came in the form of a paper check when I specified direct deposit. DAMMIT! I hate paper! I'm a paperphobe, or is that a celluphobe or wastingpreciousnaturalresourcesandtotallywastingmytimeophobe?
Peeve 4: Overturned bathroom garbage. Given the look on his face and his cowering, I'm sure Howdy would have undone it if he could have. I know all sorts of interesting, crackly, smelly things go in the bathroom garbage, but why must he be such a snoop? What if I filled the garbage bin with water one morning before I left? I'll tell you what: I'd be mopping up a floor full of water when I got home.
I know these are small things, but stack them all on top of one another over 5 minutes after work, and I feel the need for a fistfull of prozac and a water glass full of vodka. Instead, I worked some more on my computer, which isn't AT ALL frustrating, expecially when I spontaneously loose sound and video. And what's really not infuriating is when I try to record a show and my clock is set for the wrong time zone.
Peeve 1: Snow removal. The apartment parking lot and sidewalk are variably covered with snow and ice. This makes walking more of an adventure, sure, but I don't EVER feel particularly adventurous at night after a long day of
Peeve 2: Note for FEDEX. I carefully posted a note for the FedEx guy to deliver a package I was expecting to my neighbor. It was grammatically correct and contained no profanity (unless you skipped every other letter, hee hee). When I went in the front door it was gone. I almost posted another note saying "Leave my notes the FUCK alone!", but I'm a coward. Grrrrr.
Peeve 3: State tax refund. It came in the form of a paper check when I specified direct deposit. DAMMIT! I hate paper! I'm a paperphobe, or is that a celluphobe or wastingpreciousnaturalresourcesandtotallywastingmytimeophobe?
Peeve 4: Overturned bathroom garbage. Given the look on his face and his cowering, I'm sure Howdy would have undone it if he could have. I know all sorts of interesting, crackly, smelly things go in the bathroom garbage, but why must he be such a snoop? What if I filled the garbage bin with water one morning before I left? I'll tell you what: I'd be mopping up a floor full of water when I got home.
I know these are small things, but stack them all on top of one another over 5 minutes after work, and I feel the need for a fistfull of prozac and a water glass full of vodka. Instead, I worked some more on my computer, which isn't AT ALL frustrating, expecially when I spontaneously loose sound and video. And what's really not infuriating is when I try to record a show and my clock is set for the wrong time zone.
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Wash, Record, Complete
Happy birthday to me!
The girls let me sleep late. Really late. We're talking 10 o'clock here. They get all my money when I go.
After a quick trip to the mall, we went and got the car washed. I introduced 94 to my miniDV and she used it to call the play-by-play. Multi-colored foam, big blow dryers, awesome! Conclusion: the girls fight too much. The tape reveals way too much bickering. And I play right into it, refereeing and getting generally iritated.
"Hi, I'm 97, and I'm beautiful!"
"No you're not"
Followed by hair pulling, kicking, and words like poop-brain and stupid-dummy.
Great.
I'm trying to work on it by turning around in the car and yelling "what's the problem, knock it off". Wow, that's great stuff.
The girls are in love with Dundee. Both at the same time. Who's Dundee? There you go with the questions again! Dundee is a Beanie Baby dog. He's now my desktop wallpaper. You see, he was at the Tea Shop, but today he was gone. Of course the internet to the rescue. Now the girls want to chip in to order one. Or two.
The girls let me sleep late. Really late. We're talking 10 o'clock here. They get all my money when I go.
After a quick trip to the mall, we went and got the car washed. I introduced 94 to my miniDV and she used it to call the play-by-play. Multi-colored foam, big blow dryers, awesome! Conclusion: the girls fight too much. The tape reveals way too much bickering. And I play right into it, refereeing and getting generally iritated.
"Hi, I'm 97, and I'm beautiful!"
"No you're not"
Followed by hair pulling, kicking, and words like poop-brain and stupid-dummy.
Great.
I'm trying to work on it by turning around in the car and yelling "what's the problem, knock it off". Wow, that's great stuff.
The girls are in love with Dundee. Both at the same time. Who's Dundee? There you go with the questions again! Dundee is a Beanie Baby dog. He's now my desktop wallpaper. You see, he was at the Tea Shop, but today he was gone. Of course the internet to the rescue. Now the girls want to chip in to order one. Or two.
Friday, January 28, 2005
Bed Time Ritual
For years, 97's bed time ritual has been to say good night with this:
"Love you, won't let the bed bugs bite, promise, cross my heart won't break that promise promise promise."
I can't believe I haven't written this down until now. It is the cutest thing. Of course, when it comes out it sounds more like:
"loveyouwontletthebedbugsbitpromisecrossmyheartwontbreakthatpromisepromisepromise"
This is usually followed by a rousing version of:
Me: Good Night
94: Sleep Tight
97: Dream of bed bugs tonight
Fine, that last part is not original, I know, because I think it comes from Lion King 1 1/2.
"Love you, won't let the bed bugs bite, promise, cross my heart won't break that promise promise promise."
I can't believe I haven't written this down until now. It is the cutest thing. Of course, when it comes out it sounds more like:
"loveyouwontletthebedbugsbitpromisecrossmyheartwontbreakthatpromisepromisepromise"
This is usually followed by a rousing version of:
Me: Good Night
94: Sleep Tight
97: Dream of bed bugs tonight
Fine, that last part is not original, I know, because I think it comes from Lion King 1 1/2.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
I Dream of Teeny
I have average sized hands. My fingers are a bit stubby, but all-in-all I'm fairly dextrous. I can play the piano, type, and sew the occaisonal button fluently.
Why am I telling you this? Because last night I assembled a computer. So what, you query? First of all, quit asking so many dang questions, I'm getting there. Secondly, do you realize how ill-fitted the phalanges of the white anglo-saxon are for this task?
We're talking about a very humbling process here. Imagine trying to milk one of those really teeny-tiny cows I sometime see on my shoulder. That's how trying this was.
Oh, and do you know they're making Pentium 4 processors powered by uranium now? And video cards that require their own dedicated substation? Yup, and I got me one of each! Hope the neighbors don't mind their lights dimming when I shoot the bad guys.
Software comes in boxes, right? So when you are frantically searching for the DVD drive and you can't find it and then you give up and then later you unwrap your Windows XP "box", you don't expect to find the DVD drive in the same bubble wrap, do you? No, I didn't think so.
Right, oh, and I also found out what happens to missing socks. They get recycled into all sorts of funky looking leftover cables, bits, and bobs. Then they sit in your desk drawer waiting patiently to be needed, at which time they promptly disappear.
Why am I telling you this? Because last night I assembled a computer. So what, you query? First of all, quit asking so many dang questions, I'm getting there. Secondly, do you realize how ill-fitted the phalanges of the white anglo-saxon are for this task?
We're talking about a very humbling process here. Imagine trying to milk one of those really teeny-tiny cows I sometime see on my shoulder. That's how trying this was.
Oh, and do you know they're making Pentium 4 processors powered by uranium now? And video cards that require their own dedicated substation? Yup, and I got me one of each! Hope the neighbors don't mind their lights dimming when I shoot the bad guys.
Software comes in boxes, right? So when you are frantically searching for the DVD drive and you can't find it and then you give up and then later you unwrap your Windows XP "box", you don't expect to find the DVD drive in the same bubble wrap, do you? No, I didn't think so.
Right, oh, and I also found out what happens to missing socks. They get recycled into all sorts of funky looking leftover cables, bits, and bobs. Then they sit in your desk drawer waiting patiently to be needed, at which time they promptly disappear.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
FAIR WARNING (like you really care)
Saturday is my 41st birthday. I will have been alive nearly 15,000 days. Or 359,160 hours. Or 21,549,600 minutes. Or about 1.2 billion seconds.
Girls: when I was your age:
There was no cable TV
There was no internet
There were no computers as you know them
We believed some of our politicians
There were no microwaves
We had no water, so we melted ice
There were no video games
Dinosaurs roamed the earth
I demand your well wishes. You may comment them to me here on this entry. Now. C'mon, hurry it up already! ...um... please?
Girls: when I was your age:
I demand your well wishes. You may comment them to me here on this entry. Now. C'mon, hurry it up already! ...um... please?
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Ad Enoid Her, So Out They Came!
Hope there's an award for the lamest entry title, 'cause I think I just clinched it.
97 had her adenoids taken out yesterday. Surgery and after stuff went well. Thank God. No, really God, thank you thank you thank you!
Pieces of my new PC began trickling in yesterday. Got the monitor and speakers. Of course I had to do a quality check on the stuff, so I connected them to my laptop. Ho! No way! My windows desktop is now about an acre at 1278 x 1024 resolution, and I've never had a speaker system so nice. Played some music, and a few games of NFSHP2 for good measure. Awesome! Can't wait for the rest of the stuff.
Oh, got the case too. WTF! This thing is a monster.
Why must I fast for 14 hours before routine blood work? Why oh why?! I think it is secretly just a running joke among doctors. "Hey, let's make our patients really sacrifice for their health care! Heh heh heh." Not funny.
Oh, and thank you very much, Burger King, for deciding I needed a BACON, egg, and cheese biscuit to break my 15 hour fast, rather than the SAUSAGE, egg, and cheese biscuit I actually ordered. Boneheads. In the immortal words of Johnny Carson: "If you want it your way, cook it yourself!"
97 had her adenoids taken out yesterday. Surgery and after stuff went well. Thank God. No, really God, thank you thank you thank you!
Pieces of my new PC began trickling in yesterday. Got the monitor and speakers. Of course I had to do a quality check on the stuff, so I connected them to my laptop. Ho! No way! My windows desktop is now about an acre at 1278 x 1024 resolution, and I've never had a speaker system so nice. Played some music, and a few games of NFSHP2 for good measure. Awesome! Can't wait for the rest of the stuff.
Oh, got the case too. WTF! This thing is a monster.
Why must I fast for 14 hours before routine blood work? Why oh why?! I think it is secretly just a running joke among doctors. "Hey, let's make our patients really sacrifice for their health care! Heh heh heh." Not funny.
Oh, and thank you very much, Burger King, for deciding I needed a BACON, egg, and cheese biscuit to break my 15 hour fast, rather than the SAUSAGE, egg, and cheese biscuit I actually ordered. Boneheads. In the immortal words of Johnny Carson: "If you want it your way, cook it yourself!"
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Blinky Nose
Yesterday the kids and I went malling. Bought a cool Spongebob calendar at Waldenbooks. Then we found a dollar store. The girls have neat mood rings. Me? Yup, I had to have the magnetic flashing thing you can stick to your thinner body parts.
Now, the magnet on this thing is amazingly strong. I wore it in my nose in the mall for a bit and got a few laughs. You see, I was dressed in my Packers leather jacket and hat, so the frenetically flashy nose jewelry seemed amusingly out of place. Then I offered it to the girls, who anxiously accepted, until I reminded them of its most recent home. Then it was all ewwws and, like, Daaaaaaaaaaad!!
Today we hung around, taunted the cats, went to church, and watched a hilarious cat video.
Now, the magnet on this thing is amazingly strong. I wore it in my nose in the mall for a bit and got a few laughs. You see, I was dressed in my Packers leather jacket and hat, so the frenetically flashy nose jewelry seemed amusingly out of place. Then I offered it to the girls, who anxiously accepted, until I reminded them of its most recent home. Then it was all ewwws and, like, Daaaaaaaaaaad!!
Today we hung around, taunted the cats, went to church, and watched a hilarious cat video.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Burnt Pocket
I am a raging impulse buyer, I admit it. Dammit, it's my tax return and I NEEDED a top of the line PC. Don't worry I won't over-geek you all right now, but let's just say that this is the Airbus of comfusers. Newegg rules!
Wow, I've spent so much time shopping for confusers, I haven't posted for a few days. Dammit, it's my time and I NEEDED... oh WTF, never mind.
I endured the season premier of American Idol on Tuesday. What possible pleasure could a person get from watching "adults" alternately degrading themselves and being humiliated by a pompous Brit?! Please never ask me to explain why I would voluntarily allow most every sensibility I posses to be assaulted. I frankly don't know. Maybe I'll tune in nearer the finals.
Alias was pretty good last night Jennifer Garner. Solid must have her plot and good Jennifer Garner character developjennifergarnerment. How heartening to have one marry me show Jennifer Garner on telejennifergarnervision that bespeaks the proud cinematic and prosaic traditions of sublime packing wood theater Jennifer Garner.
Tonight I'll finally get to watch the rest of Twin Towers. Yay!!
Thank you Woodge for the Gmail invite. Oh, and I highly suggest a visit to his site. He's kind of a pseudo-intellect-snob-wannabe (in a nice way), but I find his blog tres entertaining.
As a result of Woodge's generosity, I have a few Gmail invites available. If you're interested, let me know. Wow, there really are benefits from reading this blog!
I also really want to point you to zefrank.com. There is just a ton of fun stuff to try, and loads of zany flash stuff to watch. Don't be afraid, he hasn't bitten yet.
Adieu.
Wow, I've spent so much time shopping for confusers, I haven't posted for a few days. Dammit, it's my time and I NEEDED... oh WTF, never mind.
I endured the season premier of American Idol on Tuesday. What possible pleasure could a person get from watching "adults" alternately degrading themselves and being humiliated by a pompous Brit?! Please never ask me to explain why I would voluntarily allow most every sensibility I posses to be assaulted. I frankly don't know. Maybe I'll tune in nearer the finals.
Alias was pretty good last night Jennifer Garner. Solid must have her plot and good Jennifer Garner character developjennifergarnerment. How heartening to have one marry me show Jennifer Garner on telejennifergarnervision that bespeaks the proud cinematic and prosaic traditions of sublime packing wood theater Jennifer Garner.
Tonight I'll finally get to watch the rest of Twin Towers. Yay!!
Thank you Woodge for the Gmail invite. Oh, and I highly suggest a visit to his site. He's kind of a pseudo-intellect-snob-wannabe (in a nice way), but I find his blog tres entertaining.
As a result of Woodge's generosity, I have a few Gmail invites available. If you're interested, let me know. Wow, there really are benefits from reading this blog!
I also really want to point you to zefrank.com. There is just a ton of fun stuff to try, and loads of zany flash stuff to watch. Don't be afraid, he hasn't bitten yet.
Adieu.
Monday, January 17, 2005
Supercooled Swimwear
As we prepared for church yesterday, the girls wondered where the brush was. After some furtive searching, I happened to see that the shampoo was gone too. Then it hit me. We left our gym bags in the car overnight.
Now, in a temperate climate, this would have been no big deal. Go out to the car and get the stuff. However, since temperatures here have been below zero for the past 3 days, this was going to be interesting.
I went out to get the stuff and start the car. When I stepped outside I heard a gasping sound punctuated by crackling. My lungs had frozen solid. At least I thought so until I heard a hoarse profanity echo off the school wall across the street. Nothing like sweariness to warm the lungs.
Started the car and opened the trunk and grabbed the bags. Did the penguin walk back to the back door (still icey) and lunged back inside. Then I noticed that the bags were very stiff. Got back upstairs and plopped them on my bed.
The hair brush, shampoo, and conditioner were frozen convincingly to the towels. Tight. After a tug of war we were able to free them. There was no way we were going to unroll the towels though. I just threw them into the bath tub to thaw.
After dropping the girls off yesterday, I bought a stereo for the car from Best Buy. $89 with free install. It'll be nice to have my tunes back.
Actually made it through Lord of the Rings - the Fellowship of the Ring last night. I honestly enjoyed it. I had tried this movie once before and just couldn't keep interested. It took some concentration, but this was a good movie. Guess I'll follow-up with Two Towers and Return of the King.
Now, in a temperate climate, this would have been no big deal. Go out to the car and get the stuff. However, since temperatures here have been below zero for the past 3 days, this was going to be interesting.
I went out to get the stuff and start the car. When I stepped outside I heard a gasping sound punctuated by crackling. My lungs had frozen solid. At least I thought so until I heard a hoarse profanity echo off the school wall across the street. Nothing like sweariness to warm the lungs.
Started the car and opened the trunk and grabbed the bags. Did the penguin walk back to the back door (still icey) and lunged back inside. Then I noticed that the bags were very stiff. Got back upstairs and plopped them on my bed.
The hair brush, shampoo, and conditioner were frozen convincingly to the towels. Tight. After a tug of war we were able to free them. There was no way we were going to unroll the towels though. I just threw them into the bath tub to thaw.
After dropping the girls off yesterday, I bought a stereo for the car from Best Buy. $89 with free install. It'll be nice to have my tunes back.
Actually made it through Lord of the Rings - the Fellowship of the Ring last night. I honestly enjoyed it. I had tried this movie once before and just couldn't keep interested. It took some concentration, but this was a good movie. Guess I'll follow-up with Two Towers and Return of the King.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Cats, Cheese, and Swimming
The kids and I drove to the Clark County Humane Association to view their Kitty City, a room with about 20 cats for us to play with. Here's us with the cats.
Then we stopped by the Lynn Dairy, where we bought some yummy, fresh cheese curds.
After a quick stop for lunch at Mickey D's, we swam at the Y.
On the way home I picked up a new dresser and spent the evening assembling it. I rather like it.
Then we stopped by the Lynn Dairy, where we bought some yummy, fresh cheese curds.
After a quick stop for lunch at Mickey D's, we swam at the Y.
On the way home I picked up a new dresser and spent the evening assembling it. I rather like it.
Friday, January 14, 2005
Tooth Fairy
97 lost a top front tooth today. And then she truly lost the tooth. What to do? Why, just jot the Tooth Fairy (TF) a note explaining the matter. Sorted.
Actually, she was quite upset about it. After all, how will the TF find me and will she believe the tragic story?
Big Sis to the rescue. Thus, the Tooth Fairy Method, according to 94:
1) TF has a giant tooth map, which shows all people's mouths, everywhere
2) Said map is color coded, with different tooth stati showing in different colors
3) Using the map, TF has unequivocal evidence of 97's tragedy
4) I guess TF points to the mouth on the map and, ZAP, she is transformed into vapor to remain undetected, floats into the room, takes the tooth, leaves appropriate compensation, points to home on the map, and...
5) ZOOOM! TF is teleported directly back to TF land
According to 94, she's sure about this because, after all, she's had 10 years to figure it out.
Love love love love!
Actually, she was quite upset about it. After all, how will the TF find me and will she believe the tragic story?
Big Sis to the rescue. Thus, the Tooth Fairy Method, according to 94:
1) TF has a giant tooth map, which shows all people's mouths, everywhere
2) Said map is color coded, with different tooth stati showing in different colors
3) Using the map, TF has unequivocal evidence of 97's tragedy
4) I guess TF points to the mouth on the map and, ZAP, she is transformed into vapor to remain undetected, floats into the room, takes the tooth, leaves appropriate compensation, points to home on the map, and...
5) ZOOOM! TF is teleported directly back to TF land
According to 94, she's sure about this because, after all, she's had 10 years to figure it out.
Love love love love!
Waking Dream
Don't you love those dreams you have where you can control the action?
As I drifted off last night I had the most wonderful dream. I can't possibly describe it here because you know how nonsensical dreams can be. It involved me at a much younger age offering aid to a girl I guess I knew. We fell madly in love. All in about 5 seconds. It left me with a feeling of such hope and peace because I've actually had those experiences, though not the same circumstances. I'm very blessed.
Unfortunately I woke back up too soon, and couldn't return to that place. That's okay though, because the memory remains. Rare with me and dreams.
Also, the dream affected me so that I couldn't return to sleep. I got up and puttered about and went back to bed at about midnight, then lie awake thinking until about 2:30.
What did I think about? You know, I'm only 40 (and still get carded buying beer): I could shape up a bit and be quite the stud. These past two years since the divorce I've had absolutely no desire to do that. Until now.
Hmmm...
As I drifted off last night I had the most wonderful dream. I can't possibly describe it here because you know how nonsensical dreams can be. It involved me at a much younger age offering aid to a girl I guess I knew. We fell madly in love. All in about 5 seconds. It left me with a feeling of such hope and peace because I've actually had those experiences, though not the same circumstances. I'm very blessed.
Unfortunately I woke back up too soon, and couldn't return to that place. That's okay though, because the memory remains. Rare with me and dreams.
Also, the dream affected me so that I couldn't return to sleep. I got up and puttered about and went back to bed at about midnight, then lie awake thinking until about 2:30.
What did I think about? You know, I'm only 40 (and still get carded buying beer): I could shape up a bit and be quite the stud. These past two years since the divorce I've had absolutely no desire to do that. Until now.
Hmmm...
Thursday, January 13, 2005
The Force
Divorce really sucks. What came before it was worse. Therefore I am fortunate. So are my children.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Good Boy?
Howdy is really a dog, methinks.
Sure, he's got cute cat ears, a long cat tail, and poops in a litterbox, but I think it's all just an act.
Lately he has needed to scream (bark) at me from the second I come home. Until I sit down. Then he needs to be up on my lap. Then he brings me things and wants to play "fetch". We finish the day with him curled up beside me in bed.
Now I've had a dog before. He was a Westie, so I know whereof I speak. Wait, upon reflection I suspect he was a fuzzy lightening ball who scratched at the patio window at 4 a.m.. No, he was definitely a dog. Maybe.
Anyway I loved that dog, but I didn't purposely adopt one from the Humane Society when I picked up Howdy. No, I'm looking at his papers right now, and they say "Male, neutered, tabby CAT". In black and white, no less, right in the middle of the coffee ring, as if for added emphasis.
This raises a boatload of issues: Do I have to take him for walks? Should I buy Dog Chow? Crap! My lease doesn't allow for dogs!!
Fellow bloggers, I'm at whit's end. Can anyone help?
Sure, he's got cute cat ears, a long cat tail, and poops in a litterbox, but I think it's all just an act.
Lately he has needed to scream (bark) at me from the second I come home. Until I sit down. Then he needs to be up on my lap. Then he brings me things and wants to play "fetch". We finish the day with him curled up beside me in bed.
Now I've had a dog before. He was a Westie, so I know whereof I speak. Wait, upon reflection I suspect he was a fuzzy lightening ball who scratched at the patio window at 4 a.m.. No, he was definitely a dog. Maybe.
Anyway I loved that dog, but I didn't purposely adopt one from the Humane Society when I picked up Howdy. No, I'm looking at his papers right now, and they say "Male, neutered, tabby CAT". In black and white, no less, right in the middle of the coffee ring, as if for added emphasis.
This raises a boatload of issues: Do I have to take him for walks? Should I buy Dog Chow? Crap! My lease doesn't allow for dogs!!
Fellow bloggers, I'm at whit's end. Can anyone help?
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Lunch
It is very theraputic to act like a 16 year old once in a while. It is downright cathartic to act like a 16 year old with three coworkers. In public.
Things at work are, well, suboptimal. Long-ignored discontent has lead to a really crappy morale situation. So, once in a while we need to get out and let off steam. The underpaid staff at our local Culvers now bears the burn marks from the aforementioned steam.
Now, before you let your imaginations go too wild, nobody was hurt and nothing was broken. And no, thank you very much, we were not kicked out. However, I must admit not participating (sober) in such an uninterrupted stream of juvenile humor and loud guffawing since high school. They wanted us gone, too, because we were asked by 4 different employees if they could clear our trays.
Now, when I say "juvenile humor", what do I mean? Here:
Female Coworker: "Maybe I can get that trucker to blow his horn."
Me: "Yeah, you'd love to blow that trucker's horn."
And that's the high-brow stuff.
Fastest hour I've spent in a long time. But, back to work we all dutifully went. Har humph.
Things at work are, well, suboptimal. Long-ignored discontent has lead to a really crappy morale situation. So, once in a while we need to get out and let off steam. The underpaid staff at our local Culvers now bears the burn marks from the aforementioned steam.
Now, before you let your imaginations go too wild, nobody was hurt and nothing was broken. And no, thank you very much, we were not kicked out. However, I must admit not participating (sober) in such an uninterrupted stream of juvenile humor and loud guffawing since high school. They wanted us gone, too, because we were asked by 4 different employees if they could clear our trays.
Now, when I say "juvenile humor", what do I mean? Here:
Female Coworker: "Maybe I can get that trucker to blow his horn."
Me: "Yeah, you'd love to blow that trucker's horn."
And that's the high-brow stuff.
Fastest hour I've spent in a long time. But, back to work we all dutifully went. Har humph.
Moss Moon Full Over Lambeau
I'm a reasonable man. As Packers fans go, I'm one of the biggest, but I can discern the truth about my team. We played terribly against the Vikings in the wildcard game. Honestly we didn't play well enough to win. Now our season's over. That's the NFL.
What's not the NFL is that punk with a 'fro, Randy Moss. Walks off the field last week, and this week he pretends to moon the fans at Lambeau. C'mon Randy! Grow a pair and show us your punk ass for real next time. And no comment from Mike Theiss, the bum? If you don't set limits for your kids, Mikey, they'll just keep walking all over you.
Alright, enough for that rant. Gonna be a long offseason.
What's not the NFL is that punk with a 'fro, Randy Moss. Walks off the field last week, and this week he pretends to moon the fans at Lambeau. C'mon Randy! Grow a pair and show us your punk ass for real next time. And no comment from Mike Theiss, the bum? If you don't set limits for your kids, Mikey, they'll just keep walking all over you.
Alright, enough for that rant. Gonna be a long offseason.
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Pretzels at Target
Okay, not exactly breakfast at Tiffany's. We had nacho pretzels at Target today for lunch. Cost as much as big kids meals at Mickey D's. Was the perfect lunch, though.
We love looking at the Target t-shirts. "Hah! Now you can't see me" is our all-time favorite. My nephew bought a "Wake and Bake" one in Sturgeon Bay over Christmas. I guess that's some drug reference. Awkward for me, though I am not a prude.
We went and saw Lisa's dogs and cats today. Been a while. We brought them woobies and cat toys. The fuzzy wooby was dead by the time we left. Torn to shreds. I predicted as much and was right. Absolute joy and fun.
At the end of "Princess Diarys II" the kids decided they absolutely had to see the "Break Away" video by what's her name... 29 times! Not only that, they were arguing over who got to sing. Typical sister stuff I guess.
We played Barbie Uno. Had Little Caesar's for supper.
I know it all sounds boring, but my time with the kids each weekend is pure magic. Makes it all worthwhile. Love love love them.
We love looking at the Target t-shirts. "Hah! Now you can't see me" is our all-time favorite. My nephew bought a "Wake and Bake" one in Sturgeon Bay over Christmas. I guess that's some drug reference. Awkward for me, though I am not a prude.
We went and saw Lisa's dogs and cats today. Been a while. We brought them woobies and cat toys. The fuzzy wooby was dead by the time we left. Torn to shreds. I predicted as much and was right. Absolute joy and fun.
At the end of "Princess Diarys II" the kids decided they absolutely had to see the "Break Away" video by what's her name... 29 times! Not only that, they were arguing over who got to sing. Typical sister stuff I guess.
We played Barbie Uno. Had Little Caesar's for supper.
I know it all sounds boring, but my time with the kids each weekend is pure magic. Makes it all worthwhile. Love love love them.
Friday, January 07, 2005
Name Plates in Flux
I'm a practical joker. It's in my nature. Some say I'm evil, some maintain I'm benevolent but mischevious. What matters is what I say. I say I'm brilliant.
Okay, at work morale sucks lately. There are alot of reasons. As I read others' blogs, it's the same old shit. I wanted to help. Fine, fine, fine, helping never crossed my mind (I rather enjoy seeing the inevitable results of management incompetence). Let's just pretend I wanted to help.
Right. Our name plates are secured to our doors via magnetic name plates. I can't tell you how much confidence this inspires in our continued employment. Recently a couple of employees have started switching name plates. Today I noticed that one shared office was advertised as being inhabited by both Mya Schmitd and Mya Schmitd (of course not their real names). That's right, two identical name plates.
Nice.
Not only that, some neighboring name plates had been switched around. The one I loved was a two-person office that, at one point, had five peoples name plates on it.
Heh heh! I got a brilliant idea. Why not come in one night with a large burlap sack. Into this sack one could put the name plates of every morale-impaired soul. Then randomly reassign those name plates. An email from the big boss tells everyone that they need to find their name plates and correct them. This would be a "get to know your coworker" ritual. Sure to boost morale, right?
I'll let you know how it goes, if at all. Of course, I'll just be monitoring -- not participating, and surely not instigating in any way.
Okay, at work morale sucks lately. There are alot of reasons. As I read others' blogs, it's the same old shit. I wanted to help. Fine, fine, fine, helping never crossed my mind (I rather enjoy seeing the inevitable results of management incompetence). Let's just pretend I wanted to help.
Right. Our name plates are secured to our doors via magnetic name plates. I can't tell you how much confidence this inspires in our continued employment. Recently a couple of employees have started switching name plates. Today I noticed that one shared office was advertised as being inhabited by both Mya Schmitd and Mya Schmitd (of course not their real names). That's right, two identical name plates.
Nice.
Not only that, some neighboring name plates had been switched around. The one I loved was a two-person office that, at one point, had five peoples name plates on it.
Heh heh! I got a brilliant idea. Why not come in one night with a large burlap sack. Into this sack one could put the name plates of every morale-impaired soul. Then randomly reassign those name plates. An email from the big boss tells everyone that they need to find their name plates and correct them. This would be a "get to know your coworker" ritual. Sure to boost morale, right?
I'll let you know how it goes, if at all. Of course, I'll just be monitoring -- not participating, and surely not instigating in any way.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Why Macho Poodle?
Okay, I really don't like poodles. I really, really, really fail entirely to like poodles. Standard poodles, fine. Toy poodles, yuck. Sorry, that's just the way it is. Curly hair, dirty brown streaks from the eyes and mouth, yippy, and just too freakin' big for their britches.
94 loves to taunt me about this. She claims she'll breed poodles when she grows up, and I told her I'll eat 'em.
So, why Macho Poodle? Simple. A nod to 94, and a great running joke. My kids mean everything to me. I want them to read my blog, and when they do, I want them to giggle.
I want you to giggle, too.
No, I don't eat poodles. Sheeeesh!
94 loves to taunt me about this. She claims she'll breed poodles when she grows up, and I told her I'll eat 'em.
So, why Macho Poodle? Simple. A nod to 94, and a great running joke. My kids mean everything to me. I want them to read my blog, and when they do, I want them to giggle.
I want you to giggle, too.
No, I don't eat poodles. Sheeeesh!
Greetings, Earthlings
Hi, it's me!
Please allow myself to introduce... myself. My name is Teken, which is Dutch for Mark. I know this because Babelfish says so. I have two wonderful girls, whom I'll lovingly refer to as 94 and 97 (the years of their respective births). I also have an X, to whom I'll refer as, well, X.
I was born a poor black child... only I'm white and my parents were middle class. I grew up in beautiful Appleton, Wisconsin -- a mere 30 miles south of The Frozen Tundra. That's right, Lambeau (Lambert if you're into failed Dems) field. I love me the Packers.
I live now in Marshfield, Wisconsin (oops wrong link, try THIS)-- a mere 30 miles south of precisely nowhere. Smack dab in the middle of it, I guess you'd say.
Let me introduce Minerva, my 8 year old Calico cat. Pictures soon. She's old and blind, and suffers from some sort of rare, but undiagnosed, slime-producing disease. Yes, I've taken her to the kitty clinic, and they said she's fine. My walls are spattered with evidence to the contrary, but what do I know.
I'd also like you to meet Howdy, my 2 year old Tabby cat. He's young and playful, and a real pain in the ass sometimes. He has no odd diseases, but when he "goes", they smell it downtown. Whew!
I drive a 1997 Mercury Grand Marquis LS. I love me my big car. [note: I'm really not illiterate, I just enjoy the phrase "I love me my..."]
Stick around and check back often, I intend to post frequently. My goal is to make friends and make you laugh. If you read Macho Poodle, give me a hollar -- it's a big, lonely net.
"Profanity is the last refuge of the fucking ignorant."
-Teken, 2004
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