Just pondering. You know, at my last three jobs I felt I had much more to contribute, when in fact my bosses were pointing to the door: but I only belatedly took the hint each time.
I held on to a broken marriage until the toxic fog was so thick I almost couldn't escape.
Each time I've clung to relationships/situations, the most painful part was the embarassment of finding out just how desperate I appeared. And how much better it would have been had I just gotten out.
I'm just wondering if this habit of holding on too long pervades me.
Look at my life: I have had two beautiful children, professional accomplishments most never enjoy, profound artistic experiences, great love from many, and so much much more. I've lived the shit out of life, in short.
Lately I've been experiencing things that give me that "outlived my welcome" feeling in life. Bad credit, mounting debt, unemployment, and others. What sign, if any, is this?
I am 42 years old and relatively healthy and upbeat. I have many future ambitions. I have so much more to contribute. So why do I feel the draft of an open door... again? But this is a door unlike the others I've used. An irreversible, ultimately consequential decision faces me.
I think I'll chalk this feeling up to over compensation. It's nice to have spelled this all out.
