No Astronaut, No Beaver, No Lincoln

You have to have seen the Rozarem commercial on the telly to get the title.

Neither Lunesta nor Rozarem work worth a plug nickle for me. How freaking sweet. They worked for two or three nights then worked no more. No eerie flourescent green butterfly thingy, no chess with random characters from my life. Thanks alot, "modern medicine"!!

Speaking of plug nickle, last Thursday the kids and I were at Rib Mountain by the Queen's Chair and there was a sign there about "Ancient Ripples". I read it aloud as "Ancient Nipples", which drew laughter from those climbing the Chair, and rebuke from my progeny. Of course we all laughed when I suggested "Ancient Nipples" as a Jeopardy answer, the question to which would be "What is under my grandma's polyester blouse?". Remember, I am child-like, not childish...

Driving Mister Teken

Grrrr!

You know, I'd like to say something like this:

"There's something very serene and peaceful and life-affirming about driving the streets at 2:30 in the morning. People all snug in there little beds and me rolling silently through the neighborhoods -- almost as a guardian, watching over them."

Yup, I'd like to say something like that. In fact, it would be true -- IF IT WERE OPPOSITE DAY!!!

Teken got into a major funk last night. The bulging file cabinet (see last post) broke open, and all those nasty files flew into the air and kept landing, hither-tither, giving me psychological paper cuts. So, I got up and drove for an hour. You know, I don't get great gas mileage when I have the weight of the world in the passenger seat.

I'm over it. The files are back, for the most part, in the cabinet. I slept from about 4am til about 11am and am drinking loads of coffee as I write. Must... refill... cup...

Ahhhh, much better. Teken coffee is STRONNNNG!!

Did you know that the cable and parcel delivery guys have a random number generator to determine when they will arrive at your house? That's why they say "some time between 11 and 4". They then enter your name into their generator and get an arbitrary time. You'll notice it's never at one end of the span or reliably in the middle.

In fact, this random number generator is CIA-funded, and also takes into account your bowel and bathing habits so as to catch you when you're pooping or drenched. You just can't hurry those things up, can you?!

But why? I'll tell you why: Because you know how we all play computer games and surf the web at work? Well, the geeks at the CIA, Homeland (in)Security, and WalMart (no, strangly, not Haliburton) watch you instead. And they just love watching you wipe furiously, or towel off incompletely, run down the stairs, and miss the dude by nanoseconds. It gives them gut-laughs.

Okay, no, that's not really why. It's because once in a while the bastards need extra time to arrange all the traffic lights to go yellow when you're approaching... No that's not it...

Once again, it's "Reader Participation Time". Explain in a comment to this post why you have to wait in your home from 11-4 every time you get cable or a parcel. I'll post the best ones. Oh, hell, who am I kidding, I'll post all of them that aren't gonna get me sued.

Happy commenting!

It Was Everything I Thought It Would Be!

This post's title is another quote from the movie Office Space. It also describes what I've been doing alot of lately. Nothing. Sweet, glorious nothing, and loving every minute of it.

Okay, sure, I've had meetings with my attorney, interviewed for jobs, networked, fixed on my car, yadda yadda... but I sleep until I want to get up, and just generally take my time doing NOTHING! Yes, the pressure is still on, but I try to cram it into a bulging file drawer in my head and lock it away because there is nothing else I can do about it until the money starts flowing in.

Had a rip-roaring verbal duel with the X. We both came away bloody, and I don't see the point. But I didn't let her walk all over me like usual. I fought back. I'm pretty bad at it but am getting better with practice. She doesn't like it much. Good.

As for employment, I have a second interview with Aspirus for an analyst position next Monday (the 25th). I'm still hopeful, but looking elsewhere too.

To everyone at MC, thank you for your support. Keep reading the poodle. To everyone else, especially Sis, the more words of encouragement the better. This is kinda go-time for me, and I need all the good stuff I can get.

SNEAKY TEKEN ALERT! I just back-dated a post to July. It is dated July 31 at about 11pm. I just think it's best there since that's when it happened.

Resignation Hits My Coworkers

Date: Thu, 7 Sep 2006 19:16:02 -0700
From: Teken
To: someguy.joe@notmarshfieldclinic.org, someotherguy@neversentry.com>

Yes, predictably I finally had enough. I could recount delicious details, but I believe my emails are MOST DEFINITELY NOT being monitored. Or I'm completely insane with paranoia.

Factually, I tendered a very restrained and eloquent resignation letter (my Mom's health is fading along with her mind I'm afraid), leaving the door open for future collaboration. That was met, within a couple of hours with my utter lack of security to Clinic systems, and complete silence. Well, except for a note from HR blathering on and on about PTO time, etc.. Ironically, since I have no email at the Clinic anymore, I can neither read or respond to those blatherings.

Interviewed today for an application analyst job with Aspirus. Looking very positive.

If it was sudden for all of you, imagine the shit stains in MY underwear!! Buckle up, kiddies, time for "the part on Sprockets when we dance" (horrible vague reference to an OLD SNL skit)..

Feel free to keep this email to yourself and your 200 closest friends and enemies.

Pray for me loudly and continuously. Repeat.
-Teken

Seriously, WOW!
Mark, I had no idea, but please do enlighten me with some details
(including Macho Poodle)!!!!!!!

-----Original Message-----
No, unfortunately I do not know the exact address. I've copied Mark so
he can enlighten us.

If you haven't yet heard, Mark has resigned; effective yesterday.

Joe

------Reply Message------
From:DD
Date:Thu Sep 07, 2006 -- 09:32:49 AM

I don't know it. Joe, do you know it?

-----Original Message------
Subject:Macho poodle

Hey, LV said something about a blog...called Macho Poodle. Do
you know the website. I'd love to read it!

Resignation

Supervisor,

It is with tempered regret that I must submit my resignation effective today, September 6, 2006. I say tempered because, given my tumultuous family health situation(s) and the Information Systems department's reluctance to work out an agreeable alternate working arrangement, the decision was not that difficult.

I will offer my continued assistance tying up loose ends, MECCA consults, etc. for an indefinite period by phone, email, and/or the occasional on-site visit if necessary, but I simply cannot be in two places at once. I am sure you understand.

Of course, this decision comes with real-world implications, so please process my resignation with due diligence so that I may access my retirement account, this being regrettable but necessary under the circumstances.

Truly I wish this seperation could have happened under calmer, less hectic skies, but we have to deal with what our maker gives us. Please be reassured that I value my professionalism almost as much as the dear relationships I have made at here over the past five-plus years. I will work hard to see that the transition is as uneventful as possible.

Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and best wishes.

Sincerely,

Mark M. Bastian

P.S. If you decide to inactivate my security, please use the following for future contact:

myemailatcharter@charterlikeisaid.duh
715-555-1212

cc:
Christensena, Carlos
Herbert, Liza MD
Kowalskid, Tack
Nikoluss, Saint
NoPowers, Dummy
Redswingline, Stapler