Fox Hiding

Above you see channel 69, which is supposed to be Cartoon Network. Right now it is running Fox News.

Here's a picture of channel 77, which is listed as Fox News Channel:


At this time, Fox news, which is usually channel 77, has been moved to channel 69, which is supposed to be cartoon network. This is very suspicious given that today is voting day. I've never had anything like this happen before.

Rules

Short rant about rules:

1. Rules are abstractions. They don't allow for learning directly about cause and effect. Therefore they're only good in extreme situations. Of course you're going to have a rule that says "No smoking in the gasoline storage shed". You don't want anyone finding out why the hard way. But, rules that, when broken, do not cause loss of life or limb, are stupid. The further from harm you get, in fact, the more ridiculous rules become.

2. Rules are really tricky. You have to write them very thoroughly. "No smoking" doesn't say "No lighting fire crackers", right? If you wrote down every single thing that would cause an explosion, nobody would read the rules. If you simply state "avoid ignition", some people may not understand. In fact, they'll probably light up a smoke to think about it...

3. Teach people, and let them make mistakes. That's how we learn. Consequences.

Just keep the rules reasonable, folks. Otherwise they're meaningless. Read a legal disclaimer after a car commercial some time and you'll see.

Kindergarten

Whew, I'm really glad I didn't post the rant I had all written out yesterday. That would have been a mistake. Rage sucks. Left over brainstem stuff, I know, but man it sucks hard.

Yesterday I sought help from my boss. He shut me down totally. Game over. I was thunder struck, and I totally didn't expect the lack of humanity. So I bring you...

Adversity

(when life shits on your plate)

Get a new plate. Don't wail and piss and moan alot, because nobody's going to care much.

It's like sitting down to a game of checkers with a new opponent. You both have played checkers before so you know the rules. But, on his first move, your opponent moves from a black to a red square. You call him on it, but he just looks at you blankly and says "your turn". Stunned and a bit angry, you follow suit. Next, your opponent moves his piece two squares instead of one. Now you're on to him. So you move two squares. In fact, maybe you throw in your own rule change and start putting your pieces back on the board when you land on red squares. That'll show him. Right? Ummm...

Okay, now you're not playing checkers any more are you? Now you're playing a game with no rules and so nobody can really win, and we all know how that games ends. You both end up screaming that you won, and maybe punch each other. Just like kindergarten. Then it's milk time. Very mature.

See, your only real option here is to calmly get up and find a different person to play with. True, this jackass just wasted your recess, but that's life. Sticking it out is even more unpleasent. Escalating the situation won't make you happy. And you know it. Tell the teacher? Sure, but you know what they say about tattle-tails...

Move on. Go have your milk and get your mat out and lie down and take a nap. Screw the psycho checker bully.

It

Just a very rough draft. Not done yet. Patience.

None of what you are about to read makes any sense if you're in a hurry. Or if your mad. Go away and get over it first.

Little fish. Remember, there's nothing you can do about the time before you arrived. Alot of good meaning people and grace survived and got you here in the first place. You're standing on their shoulders and most of the time that pressure you feel is them propelling you forward. Take it and go with it. You don't deserve it. It simply is. Make good choices. Do what's right. Every day, even the small stuff people don't notice. Steal if you have to, but always pay back and then some. Sometimes the ends DO justify the means, but when the means include deceit, theft, lies, mistruths or other shenanigans, they usually don't.

No, you did not ask to be born. Yes, you can kill yourself. BUT -- think of the other people who love you -- they didn't ask to be born either. Still, if you decide to go, then go. It's not good or bad. It just is. But what a shame.

You are a rubber band. How big you are and how strong are not your choice. You can be stretched to store potential energy and that energy can be released later. The energy can be used for good or evil, it's your choice. Oh, you could also just stay in the dark drawer with the other rubber bands. No energy, no potential, no moment of release, no thrill of effect. No difference. Again, maybe it's not a great choice, but it beats the heck out of becoming a terrorist.

You are constantly expanding to fill the voids around you, and the voids will never be full. But, when you expand too quickly, you can break like an anurism. Stretch carefully and in a controlled way until you reach a new limit and then stop and reflect. "Was this stretch for good or evil" ask yourself. Repeat. Question the limit.

Every single 'thing' in your life is a continuum. A range. Low to high, soft to loud, like that. You are plunked down more or less in the middle of the continua, it's your job to keep between the lines. There will be highs and lows. Be steady. But don't over react.

You are built to test limits, not to follow rules. You are a sports car. You are moving very fast. You need instruments you can trust to help you to navigate. Unfortunately there are none. You have to make them. Try judging your success ONLY by whether your actions result in good or bad outcomes. Feedback you get from so-called 'objective measures' of success in life (pay, position, praise, power) is often too contradictory to get a good read on where you are or how you're doing. You'll get much better feedback listening to your heart. Fly by feel. Know what's right. Stretch when you hit a boundry that doesn't feel right. Stop or slow down when it gets scary, not just when you 'see' an obstacle. Why? Because it is often either 1) your imperfect senses giving you messed-up messages, or 2) 'society' being really screwed up as usual (think Enron).

Rules. Don't get me started.

God gave you Gut. Use it. Gut, gut, gut.

Your eyes can deceive you.

Your ears can hear things you make up.

Wrote processing of thought by blindly applying 'rules' is extremely dangerous: like Auschwitz and the Reich. Don't force the literal. It's a sign of mental fatigue that can lead to subjugation.

You are the rubber band. You decide when to stretch and when to release. All the crap setup around you is not in your control, but your response to it is.

Oh yeah, all of the beauty, magic, and miracle you see around you are also out of your control, but you have to power to appreciate it and be thankful. Do it. It's never wrong. Even when it's a beautiful woman/man whom you'll never get, but would take in a heartbeat. It's okay to be attracted. It's not okay to be a letch.

Keep giving. If you don't have money, give a shit. It means more anyway, believe me. Open doors. Hug. Use terms of endearment. Tease lovingly. Talk to the cash register dude. Make eye contact. Share. Give. Remember. Pay attention. Give. Love.

Society, bad friends, drugs, bad rearing, and disease can blur your sense of what's right and what's wrong -- even before you know it to begin with. Once you get it, keep it and never waver. Remember, we all die. Better to die for what's right than to live another day having compromised what's right.

Knowing this, also realize that you will do wrong. Alot. Even on purpose sometimes. It all becomes part of the past. Learn from it. That's all you can do. Let it hurt when you err, but don't kill yourself over it. God made you. He wants you to be happy. You'll only be happy if you do right. You'll only do right if you take chances. You can't take chances when your dead.

No wrong you can do can condemn you. No good you can do can earn you redemption. Again, you were already going blindingly fast when you got here.

You can't know what comes after this life. Nobody can. Not a Priest, Judge, or President. But don't quit trying to figure it out -- the mind loves a puzzle.

Man plans, God laughs, but not because it's funny -- he just knows the final score and outcome. Ha ha.

Don't do evil even if it's "deserved" (whatever that means). Hitler was not an evil person -- but he did killed and maimed because he couldn't let go of the evil others had done to him. Plus he had crazies around him who also supported him and his messed-up priorities. I truly believe he was sorry just before he died. Remember: Revenge hurts the avenger, too. Alot. And it never works.

Try not to judge others. You have too much on your own plate. It's like driving off a cliff because you let go of the wheel to point at another driver's mistake. Let it go. Worry about you.

Getting drunk, acting stupid, gambling, looking at porn, smoking, and all those other vices do have their place. But really, they should be entertainment only. Don't get caught up or addicted.

You were born going 80 miles an hour down a crowded freeway. You neither chose nor have any idea where you're going at first -- nobody does. Honestly, neither did your mom and dad when they had you, probably. All those friendly faces can teach you to drive, but starting the instant you can reach the pedals and steering wheel, the ride's yours. Don't scream and cover your eyes. There's no time. Follow the rules, don't wreck. Change lanes, take exits, change direction. Site see. Pick a new destination.

Things I Learned in Green Bay

1. You can taste insincerity in a hospital, which is why hospital food sometimes tastes really bad
1. Bring extra underwear because you'll probably stay longer than you planned
2. Don't sniff your underwear on the third wearing -- trust me, it stinks
2. Eat something before you get there because although the meal you get when you arrive will be delicious, you will wait
2. Rock Star 16-ouncers don't count as food
2. My name is Bendillonmark
6. My nephews are named after me
3. Massively Multi-player Role-playing Games are really pretty cool
4. You can go to bed when the sun rises, too
Z. You can survive an almost unlimited number of falls off of a conversational change of subject cliff as long as you pay attention
5. TV wrestling is a vahgeen HOOOOT!!
8. 2 year olds have special laser eye beams that bore holes in your heart and fill them with love
6. Guacamole turns baby poop brown if left out for a couple of hours
7. Baby poop brown guacamole tastes good
5. Zen loves to ride in the back of a gray Mustang convertible going down the freeway at 90 miles an hour on a 100 degree afternoon
0. If you find yourself reclining with Zen in the aforementioned convertible, don't wear a hat or sunglasses, and don't open your mouth or you'll lose a filling
8. Earwigs are nasty
Q. You will always pack things you don't need, even if you don't pack
1. You will always forget to pack that thing you need, even if you hire a vacation planner
4. Neither "Q." nor "1." above have any bearing on the quality of your experience, so chill
7. The "shaving cream in the hand, tickle the nose" trick really does work quite well
04. Newer Bun coffee makers only start brewing after you close the water lid thingy
9. Being randomly weird with your sister and nephews is startlingly cathartic
?. If you back up down a street, people will point at you
3. Ridiculing people who just pointed at you is fun, but only if you're with people
10. Wisdom plays a wicked game of hide-and-seek, but you can end up rolling on the floor laughing if you play along